Artemis don’t break the computer!
Written on November 29th, 2007 by mahi101 AF FanStory Details
(35 votes, average: 3.34 out of 5)
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Dear Arty,
I would like to personally apologized for writing a number of fan-fictions where your are tortured/embarrased for the amusement of others by a character of mine called Alex. I truly respect your superoir intellegence and plotting skills, as Alex is actually based a a teeny tiny itsy bitsy bit off of you.
P.S Are you aware that you look/ remind people of vampires?????
Sincerelly,
Fowl-Freak
Dear Fowl-Freak,
That’s nice to know…….but I would never be humilliated, I would never let that happen , my superiority is here to help me get out of situations such as those. Thank you for your respect.
P.S- I know I look like a vampire, that’s why I do them , or actully used to, I have minimized the use of those glares now.
-Artemis Fowl The second
FINAILLY A LETTER TO FOALY!
Dear Foaly,
I just thought you would like to know that SOMEONE appreciates you.I for one thought everyone was being extremely rude when they never said a simple “thank you” for making the technology you do.
I just thought you might like to know that I appreciate you!
ArtemisFowl The Third
Dear ArtemisFowl the third,
I do appreciate that, thank you.AT LEAST SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS MY PAIN OF BEING NEGLECTED FOR MY GREAT WORK!But something that caught my eye when I read this message is your name… Artemis Fowl the third? Wait.. either Artemis has been really bad lately or your from the future.
-Foaly , the centuar the LEP couldn’t survive without-
Dear Foaly,
Artemis Fowl the THIRD is a screen name.My real name is CENSORED.So quit thinking about it!
Artemis Fowl the Third
P.S.-Even though Ark Sool is off the force,soon I’ll send a gun to you to shoot him with.
Dear Artemis Fowl the Third,
Yes ofcourse you are correct,I can’t belive I thought of such a thing, I mean the LEP doesn’t even know how to send messages to the past or future yet,I would LOVE that gun, I think it would make a great birthday present for Sool!
- Foaly, the centuar the LEP couldnt survive without.
Dear Foaly,
are you really a genius.
Whos cleverer you or artemis.
Im a really big fan so please send back.
lightning
Dear Lightning,
I am a genius but there have been many times at which I have out smarted Artemis and many times Artemis had outsmarted me, I have no answer to tell you which of us is cleverer.And I am a genius.
- Foaly, the centuar the LEP couldn’t survive without.
b
Some other stories by mahi101 AF Fan:
- I guess this is Goodbye......
- The preview for my comming out story I NEED REVIEWS PLEASE!
- Commedy in turns!OLIVE YOUR TURN!
- What should I do?
- girl of his dreams.
November 29th, 2007 at 10:23 pm
hi!! I just want Vinyaya to know we miss her and that is why I am continueing this , so here is an example…….( which is not going to be counted)
Dear Artemis,
Hiiii!!!!!! Well , I have to tell you something which you will be very suprised to hear! , We are wacthing you , your every move , We know about your life Mr.Fowl, let me tell you what and WHO I know about.
Holly , A Former LEP officer ,
Foaly- a centaur with a big ego
Mulch- a dwarf
Minerva - a girl who captured No1
Root- a dead commahnder
Opal- an evil former pixie.
Oh we klnow much much more , about You , …butler…or should I say Domovoi?Ah well , Mr.Fowl , unless you want the wold to know about this… YOU WILL RESPOND!
November 29th, 2007 at 10:28 pm
me ARTY’SELFFRIEND!!
Hi Arty!!! I luv you sooo much! I hope that you read this and not think I’m some nutcase wack job!!! But if you like to read fictions About vampires, then you would be better off reading the Twilight series then reading books on Pi or the pathagorean therum!!
Love you!! ARTY’SELFFRIEND or as they call me in the shout box-EdwardCullenisMine
November 29th, 2007 at 10:29 pm
Okay , I want you all to know that this is a thing to remind us all of our great friend Vinyaya.
Here is the first e-mail…
Dear Aretmis Fowl the second,
We know abnout you , we all do , let me tell you A LITTLE ABOUT WHO AND WHAT WE KNOW.
OPAL- AN EVIL AND FORMER PIXIE
Holly- a former LEP officer you went to Hybras with.
Minerva- a genius girl who caught No1 before you
Foaly - a helpful and sarcastic centaur with a big ego
Root- a dead commader
and we know MUCH MUCH MUCH MORE! So unless you want the whole world to find out you WILL respond to all the E-mails you egt from us. Don’t worry , It’ll be like an interview….mwahhahah
November 29th, 2007 at 10:47 pm
ummm Arty Twilight wasn’t even out at age 4!!! it was only 1993!!! it can out in 2005!!
November 29th, 2007 at 10:50 pm
( we can pretend rite? okay , I will change that.)
November 29th, 2007 at 10:54 pm
I fixed it!
November 29th, 2007 at 10:56 pm
Okay there is a catch , from now on , when I write arty a letter I will post it up , but ONE OF YOU GUYS , will respond , I will pick the response , and post it up ( I will also say who wrote it) I am going to answer every letter sent to arty! SO COMMENT PEOPLE!
November 29th, 2007 at 11:00 pm
Lol.=D If only Artemis was real and he could REALLY reply to those messages… and more!
November 29th, 2007 at 11:01 pm
yeah ,,.. OMG , ur on? Im comming on IM!
November 29th, 2007 at 11:07 pm
EdwardCullenisMine- HA HA HA, You wish, hes mine
ne ways my letter
Dear Artemis Fowl the Second,
I would just like to say hi, and also say i love you as a friend. I would also like to say, would you like to get some lunch or something, as long as it is not caviar. eww, that is so gross, my dad ate it once, but i have never tried it so maybe i should. Your very bestest humanish friend, (i am not human, i am an alien not that that should surprise anyone)
Ashley :p
November 29th, 2007 at 11:21 pm
Dear Artemis:
Of course we know who you are but you know what? I am not watching you! Why would I? Oh, and have a brownie.
PS: Do you think you could make a wormhole to visit us here?
Signed,
Holly314
November 29th, 2007 at 11:24 pm
Dear Arty,
Why do you not like it when people call you Arty? I think it’s cute. Anyway, this is a pic of Artemis for all the fans:[IMG]http://i3.tinypic.com/8fbwr3p.jpg[/IMG]:D Enjoy, fans! ~_Ariel_
November 29th, 2007 at 11:25 pm
Darn!! the pic didn’t work!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ok, never mind.
November 29th, 2007 at 11:34 pm
DON’T WORRY , I’LL POST IT UP FOR YOU ARIEL!
November 29th, 2007 at 11:42 pm
Dear Artemis,
Well too bad we dont get to go to lunch, but i still dont like caviar. ANYWHO, I was wonding, maybe you’d like to hang out sometime, maybe start a cooking show or something. Or maybe we could do something you’d like to do like sing your favorite song, “hit me baby one more time” call me,
November 29th, 2007 at 11:44 pm
my smilies didnt work
:-#
November 29th, 2007 at 11:46 pm
wait, add this to the end of the letter i just wrote: would you like a pencil shoved up your nose or throat?
ASHLEY
November 30th, 2007 at 12:26 am
IM GETTING BORED WAITING FOR PEOPLE TO COMMENT!!!!! COME ON? OH YEAH AND……… CAN U GUYS PLZ RATE THIS? THANX….
November 30th, 2007 at 12:32 am
Oh yes , does anyone know the Jonas Brothers? Omg!!!!!!!! ( repat omg millions of times!) I have there PHONE #!!!!!!!! THEY ARE SSOOOOO AWESOEM! aCTULLY.. i DON’T LISTEN TO THEIR MUSIC BUT IT’S GOOD , ANDN THEY ARE SUPERSTARS SO I LOVE TIS!! sorry , I couldn’t hold it in anymore!!!
November 30th, 2007 at 12:37 am
people, aliens, fairies , goblins or whatever you r can you sign under your letter? tahnk you.
November 30th, 2007 at 12:39 am
nope.. thats not it.
November 30th, 2007 at 12:44 am
lol…. ur not allowed to IM? I am , but i don’t often , I like this place …. how old is ur bro?
November 30th, 2007 at 1:04 am
Dear all the chraracters of Artemis Fowl,
We all know about you because of the Aretmis Fowl book series written by Eoin Colfer. There are currently 8 books in the series. We know what all you characters look like because of the Artemis Fowl Graphic Novel, released this year.Artemis, I would also like you to know that I have been hacking your computers for a year now and I have ALL YOUR FILES! If you try to de-hackify your computers, I will detonate the data charge in your system, deleting all your files!!!
MWAHAHA!!!!!!
-your child prodigy,
Kgerred
P.S Me email is kgerred@charter.net, but you can’t hack through that because I have an advanced firewall monitiring all my emails.
P.P.S What is your email address? If you do not tell me, I will set off the data charge.
November 30th, 2007 at 1:59 am
YOU ARE TO IN A BOOK!!!!!!!!
And I did hack a computer. If it was your brothers, than they have all your files.
And by the way, I am 1 step away from pressing the “activate” button on the data charge. If you do not believe that you are in a book, I will detonate the data charge.
-Your cild prodigy,
Kgerred
P.S I am the next child genius!!!! Beware!!!!
November 30th, 2007 at 2:07 am
Dear Artemis Fowl,
Are you in band or chorus at your school? Also,I am in robotics club at my school. Does your school hace a robotics club? Also, Jelly and I are registered in the Federal Australian Child Genii Corparation, numbers AUS3429067 and AUS3776890. Just wanted you to know that. If you don’t believe me, you probably have someway of figuring out
!!!
-Your child prodigy,
Kgerred
November 30th, 2007 at 2:45 am
Silly Artemis, you are simply a compulsive idiot with amnesia who doesn’t know how to compute PI times RADI divided by negitave 16, wich is the easiest equation ever. You are in a book, you are just to dumb to remember. And I also have a backup disk. Goodbye, my compulsive pathelogical physic-distorter idiot book character.
-Your child prodigy,
kgerred
November 30th, 2007 at 2:46 am
I DID, JELLY!
November 30th, 2007 at 2:51 am
I am smart enough to not be spotted easily!! I learn nothing in robotics club, we just build a robot to compete in a competition.You can probably find it on the web.
-Your child prodigy, Kgerred
November 30th, 2007 at 3:10 am
Dear Artemis,
I KNOW THAT, I JUST CHOOSE NOT TO!!!! I WILL STOP SENDING BAD LETTERS IF YOU STOP BEING MEAN TO ME!!! YOU’RE MY HERO!!!!
-Your child prodigy,
Kgerred
November 30th, 2007 at 3:19 am
I9 knew you were Jelly , I knew ciaviar was baby fish too , itt just seeemed funny for him not to know..( I wacthed ‘ sweet life of Zack and Cody’ They said about caviar being dead babay fish)
November 30th, 2007 at 3:20 am
umm.. okay , once I have…….IDK , I want to keep the letters though.. But I will do that in time.
November 30th, 2007 at 3:26 am
e-mail…. check it out…srry that didn’t happen though..
November 30th, 2007 at 3:34 am
Dear Artemis,
You are, once again, my hero. I want you to know the answer to that equation I asked you. It is 28.992. By!
-Your child prodigy,
Kgerred
November 30th, 2007 at 3:36 am
huh???? well , thanx , but Jelly… Ur in the TOP TENS STORIES LIST…. taht’s way better.
November 30th, 2007 at 3:40 am
yeah , rite , i really don’t believe taht , my stroies never get higher then 4.. anyway, THANX! btw , do u have school tomoorrow… I do..FRIDAY!
November 30th, 2007 at 3:44 am
bYE , gatta go to sleep , I get let out early tomorrow! 1:40pm usually it is 3:07pm
I LOVE FRIDAYS! except I have NO ELA! NO READING OR WRITING ON FRIDAYS! I LOVE TAHT CLASS!
November 30th, 2007 at 3:47 am
Dear Artemis,
I’m sorry mahi101 AF fan is torturing you like this, but i’ve always wanted to talk to you!! I mean, who doesn’t want to interview a vampire!(joke;-) How are the twins doing, I mean about the muffins? I hope they are better. By!!
-Your child prodigy,
Kgerred
November 30th, 2007 at 3:49 am
Mahi,Jelly and I get let out at 2:40 so when I get home from the bus ride at roughly 3:10 I will be writting more letters. To Maxi, I am on.
November 30th, 2007 at 3:52 am
After taht , there will be no more questions answered until tomorrow mornijg.
November 30th, 2007 at 4:19 am
Okay then. Just let me type this one. Dear Artemis Fowl the Second,
I have a few questions for you. I would appreciate it if you answer, but if and only if you are frustrated, you do not have to. Why have you followed your father’s footsteps? I have distinctly remembered that you have said that you have made a mistake when Captain Holly Short asked you when you went to save your father. Is that true? How is your life treating you? Are your brothers, Myles and Beckket, annoying you? If you do like this letter and wish to not respond, then you may due so.
Sincerely,
HS9, otherwise known as Holly Short 99999999
November 30th, 2007 at 11:16 pm
UPDATED
November 30th, 2007 at 11:43 pm
Dear Artemis,
HOW COULD YOU KILL ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS!
She was the person you killed! I know she may have mental issues, but why did you have to kill her! Well, it doesn’t matter, because I will come to Fowl Manor, take her(without hurting you!), revive her, and throw her in a padded cell with a strait jacket on. Then she can resume her counseling. By the way, thanks for finding her! She escaped from the Austrian Insane Asilum,and we sent out spys to find her, but they couldn’t! Thanks!!
-Your child prodigy,
Kgerred!
P.S:Once again, thanks for finding her! If you want more info, tell me in your reply!!
December 1st, 2007 at 12:28 am
UPDATED!
December 1st, 2007 at 2:24 am
Dear Aretmis,
Yes, she did do something to get in the Asilum, she broke out in hysterical laughter during class, then went to a kitchen and got a knife and wandered around school saying”Night, night, Charlie Brown!”. We had to go on full lockdown, and she was arrested. But then, she escaped from the Asilum by simply walking out the door. It may sound wierd, but she did! Which spys did you meat? Was it Agent XK?
-Your child prodigy,
Kgerred
December 1st, 2007 at 2:36 am
I KEEP WRITING LETTERS, BUT NONE COME UP!
December 1st, 2007 at 2:42 am
wut…. weird../……..how./……
December 1st, 2007 at 2:42 am
Dear Artemis,
I half to make this short, otherwise it won’t come up . View file JELMAX on w.ausum.JELMAXCV.V.gov and veiw case file c12jelmaxinsanity in file JELMAX to find out what she did.- Your child prodigy, Kgerred
December 1st, 2007 at 2:43 am
I got it to, but the letters have to be short!!
December 1st, 2007 at 2:43 am
write it on microsoft word then copy and paste it here or e-mail it to me at babigrl0104@yahoo.com
December 1st, 2007 at 2:54 am
I was rereading my comments I just saw the 35th comment , so i responded to it now , but i didn’t notice it before so can u forgive me jelly? I AM WAYYYY SORRRYYYY.
December 1st, 2007 at 3:30 am
Dear Artemis Fowl the Second,
How annoying are your brothers? My little sister nearly killed me when she was three. When I asked you why you followed your father’s footsteps, I meant when he was a criminal mastermind.If you are frustrated right now and wish not to respond, then you may due so.
Sincerely,
HS9, otherwise known as Holly Short 99999999
December 1st, 2007 at 4:05 am
Updated.
December 1st, 2007 at 4:27 am
OK
December 1st, 2007 at 4:31 am
Dear Artemis Fowl,
Do you have a AF-10 fuse? Because we were downstairs in our winter home in Wisconsin when the entire tree in the basement went”poof”. It didn’t catch fire, but it burned out all the lights on the tree and fried the tree fuse.
-Your child prodigy,
Kgerred
December 1st, 2007 at 4:46 am
idk what a AF-10 fuse is……. but ill still reply.
December 1st, 2007 at 4:50 am
is it hot in aurtaila right now? Man ur lucky , its cold here! and is kgerred Arty_and_Holly4ever?
December 1st, 2007 at 4:53 am
Dear Artemis Fowl the Second,
You are the first boy to call me nice. Other boys call me ‘pig’ and ‘weird’. I am extremely sorry that I am invading your mind. If you are frustrated and wish to not respond, then you may do so. If you are so frustrated that I invaded your mind and wish not to communicate with me, tell me and I will stop.
Sincerely,
HS9, otherwise known as Holly Short 99999999
December 1st, 2007 at 4:55 am
lol….. i get called taht by my cousins/aunts/uncles ( were like 11–21 Ijm the youngest AKA everyones slave.)
December 1st, 2007 at 5:24 am
UPDATED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JELLY DID YOU READ IT?
December 1st, 2007 at 6:54 pm
Dear Artemis Fowl the Second,
I am so happy for you! As for me, I have no idea how I stay so calm after all these crazy events around me. Everyone at my school is freaking out except me. Are you sure that I am the first person not to threaten you in any of the letters?
Sincerely,
HS9, otherwise known as Holly Short 99999999
December 1st, 2007 at 8:38 pm
Dear Artemis Fowl II:
I recieved a message from the Chip’s Challenge Yahoo! group that one of my friends is trying to contact someone who has reverse engineered programs before. I’m sure you have, considering your ability to create a computer as complex as the C Cube. Do you think you can help him out? If you can, I can send him a message on the group forum.
Thanks,
Joshua
December 1st, 2007 at 8:50 pm
(By the way, all the comments and general discussion kinda leaves me confused, I shall conquer it all sooner or later!)
December 1st, 2007 at 8:57 pm
Oh yeah, and one more thing: Artemis, I don’t truly believe you are falling in love with Minerva. It is probably infatuation, and once you leave your teenage years, you’ll move on. It seems to me that you’re just too much of a lone wolf to become emotionally attached to another person, except maybe Butler for saving your life so many times. I respect your independence, and I think that that is what has made you so successful as a criminal over the years.
Sincere regards,
Joshua
December 1st, 2007 at 9:13 pm
I wanna ask him a question!
Dear Arty arty artemis,
. Do you like comic books? I do, Superman is awesome. If don’t respond nicely I will hire Deadpool to assasinate you. He is crazy & strong, he could totally beat butler up, if you want to know more about your iminant doom heres deadpools profile on wikipedia:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deadpool_%28comics%29 . This isn’t a threat I just want you to be nice to me *creepy evil smile*
How are you? I wanna be your friend;can I be your friend? I’ll be super nice to you
have a nice day, your friend,
Happyhypnosis (H.H. for short)
December 1st, 2007 at 9:29 pm
dear artemis,
WHATS UP BRO??? its been like 2 long! you so need to like come over and we can do like algebra or somethin. ya no how you hate my twin? Yea, you emailed her and now she hates you. yea so, thanks for getting her mad at me. You know my littlest sister, she keeps calling me kush-kush cause you told her to. CALL ME!!! my number is 555-5555. love ya,
stephanie
December 1st, 2007 at 10:13 pm
Dear Artemis Fowl,
Which Bentley do you recomend my family buys, MXS Silver Edition SUV or MTM XS Red Edition crossover? I’m at my grandparents in Wisconsin and my parents are getting an early Christmas present from my grandparents who owh a Bentley dealer in California, but they run it from Wisconsin, and you can guess what the present is!
-Your child prodigy,
Kgerred
December 2nd, 2007 at 4:28 am
Dear Butler,
Hello I was just wondering if you could awnser a few questions for me? But you don’t have to if you don’t want to * looks at floor * O.K. 1. have you ever had a relasonship with someone? 2. would you ever go out with Holly…….or me? I’m a little young but your WAY cool! 3. can you say you ABC’s backwords when your plowed , drunk, jacked up? Or do you drink if so do you prefer wine or wiskey? 4. If your really intoreading and romance you sould read shakesphere’s much ado about nothing if you get time. yes I know that’s not really a question but it’s a good book1
Your bigest fan ,
lbutler
December 2nd, 2007 at 4:33 am
Ha Ha Ha Arty has six toes. byu the way is it true you have 6 fingers 2 pinkys and 2 thumbs?
December 2nd, 2007 at 4:40 am
dear Root ,
hello I know you really don’t expct to get mail in heaven ( yes that’s were good souls like yours go) . But I just want to tell you everyone misses you and respect you even more than you know. Holly was really upset and so was Butler and everone when you …. left . But my Granfather was a commander in the Army once and told me he wants to ‘ go wereing his boots’ and that is just what you did and everyone loves you for your courge and loyalty to your Uniform. just wanted you to know and o.k. this sounds way weird but I love you !!!!!
” Foaly this is no time for you hair brain theroys’ now push that buton before i come up there and push it with your face!”
Sorry that’s not eactly what you said but whatever!
your’s truely ,
lbutler
December 2nd, 2007 at 9:14 pm
okay guys , i was gone for a looong time , now artemis will answer all these letters by the end of the day!( i have to do something for school rite now)
December 3rd, 2007 at 2:06 am
Dear Artemis Fowl the Second,
and 
If you think running, jumping, screaming, moaning, groaning, headaches, and bruises crazy, then, there tou are. Well, At least you do not have to kill Jelly.
Sincerely,
HS9, otherwise known as Holly Short 99999999
To mahi101 AF Fan:
December 3rd, 2007 at 3:53 am
lol , I fininshed with them , sorry i haven’t been onb lately , the computer litrally wouldn’t let me for 2 days it just said ” forbidden” and i was like “waah?’ I doubt my parents have to do anything with it , they are so busy themselves , but anyway , it lets me back on now!
December 3rd, 2007 at 6:13 pm
101st comment/review! Is that a record?
Dear Holly:
What do you like to do in your spare time? Are there any Mudmen authors you like? If so, who are they?
Also, everyone says you have the hots for Artemis, but I don’t believe that. Do you have a crush on anyone?
Sincere regards,
Joshua
December 3rd, 2007 at 10:43 pm
OMG they awnsered !!!!!WOW !!!! O.K> next letter
Dear Root,
I didn’t know Gramps untill after the Army but he always yelled and was always red in the face ! He evenchully went deaf because he yelled so much! LOL ! I have a few Questions for you. 1. Your brother Turnball, he got kicked out of the LEP because ? 2. Did you ever have a Cruch on VInyaya? 3. Do they have computers in Alaska?
4. what would you say to Holly if she went out with Artemis ? well I’m out of Questions. … Oh I got one more ! 5. THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION…. GATORS OR SIMINOLES????????
Your Freind ,
lbutler
December 3rd, 2007 at 10:52 pm
Dear Butler,
Thank you for awnsering my strange Questions! And oh well Your right I might be an assin , but I also dout it! I liked it to bit hard to understand but good never the less. I was also wondering … if you could take sertan things from diffrent Guns witch Guns ans what features and why? Yes I know girls really don’t have the best gun knowlage but I just want a shot gun , slugs! OH AND THIS QUESTIONS IS A MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH … GATORS OR SIMINOLES???????? Sorrry I’m an American Collage Footbal freak !!!
Your Freind ,
lbutler
December 3rd, 2007 at 11:18 pm
Okay guys , Now as I said before , when I have a message all of you can write responses and I pick one and put it in the story , well here is my message and hope you guys answer!
Dear Opal Koboi,
I JUST wanted to tell you something, Jelly , a friend of mine is out to get artemis Fowl , he foiled her plan once but will try again. Now will you be ablen to help us by keeping survaliance on him to make sure he is not messing around with our camers’s
P.S- We are wacthing you……
December 3rd, 2007 at 11:29 pm
dear Artemis,
Yea, i am opal_is_evil_haha’s twin, and i have to say, GOSH YOU ARE SO RUDE GO CLIMB IN A HOLE AND DIE!!
THANKS A MILLION
Ashley + Stephanie
(no duh the number is fake. what did you call it or something?????? your stupider than i thought)
December 4th, 2007 at 8:26 pm
my letter isn’t showing up and if is, WHATS WRONG WITH MY COMPUTER!! Mahi fan can you help me out?
December 4th, 2007 at 8:27 pm
sorry! i mean mahi 101, I guess I shortened your name on accident
.
December 4th, 2007 at 10:25 pm
mahi is my niackname , you call me that , and yeah , if you have any problems do you think you can e-mail me and them I’ll copy&paste it to here!
my e-mail adress is babigrl0104@yahoo.com
December 4th, 2007 at 10:27 pm
Jelly- today at school in ELA we are suppose to be writting ‘dialogde’ soo anyway , I made a sceene of me talking to you “( I did use the name Jelly) about you wantinmg to kill artemis! ( it was halarious!)
December 4th, 2007 at 11:22 pm
Okay , I8 updated but , I acciedntly skipped to the first few messages so they are at the end ( I still have them in) just be patient and read it through now! sorrry…. and keep mailing!
December 5th, 2007 at 2:05 am
okay u guys , I updated and Jelly , I hope you didn’t mind , I took the info from your comment and used it in the letter!
December 5th, 2007 at 11:02 pm
okay , I will pretend that after you write this artemis hits his head and forgets about you.
December 6th, 2007 at 12:38 am
and so does butler.
December 6th, 2007 at 2:13 am
well , if you want , you can like start over.
December 6th, 2007 at 2:14 am
I mean , now no one remember’s you ( I mean the artemis Fowl charecters) doen’t that kind of mean that u never really existed?
December 6th, 2007 at 2:51 am
wait….wuh???…okay , i don’t wanna delete it… but can I change the name of the person….like in all your threats, I won’tput your name , I will put.. the name SAMANTHA! And you can Start over.
December 6th, 2007 at 2:52 am
But if you still want me to delete them , I will , just tell me which ones.
December 6th, 2007 at 2:54 am
Dear Holly,
Hey, did you know that artemis stuck a tracker into your boot last night? He doest trust you. from a friend who cares,
ashley!
December 6th, 2007 at 3:07 am
wuhh?
okay , wait. So I shouldn’t just change your name. and delete them all including #129?
December 6th, 2007 at 11:57 pm
EVERY SINGEONE?okay. But Im still saving it to microsoft if u change ur mind. Now I have to change all the other messages to.
December 7th, 2007 at 12:13 am
okay , job done , your off.
December 7th, 2007 at 12:24 am
lol , kk , sure . thanx. , and its okay , if u didn’t want them to be in its ur choice not mine!
December 7th, 2007 at 1:07 am
okay
December 7th, 2007 at 7:29 pm
dear everyone,
what are your favorite kinds of pudding? If Opal Koboi randomly appered and gave you a cake would you eat it?what are your favotie colors? Artemis I am about to test your smartness !there are seven creatures Two Humans , on Over on Under, one bat one mouse, one roach,one spiderand one rat. they have all just had lunchand it was our favorite food , None of us have the same favortie food. the things they at were fish cheese cake cookies bread mushrooms and shrimp sause . now here are your clesThe Bat’s food is either mushrooms or cake. Cookies are not the Roaches Favorite. The mouse wil eat cheese btu she didn’t today.the Under human ’s favorite food is either cokies or shrip sause. The Over Human favorite food is either cake orbread. so who ate the cheese?
Your freind lbutler!
December 7th, 2007 at 9:32 pm
ohhh!!! I made those types of charts and did those in thrid grade! i luved to do them!
December 8th, 2007 at 2:43 am
THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!
December 8th, 2007 at 2:44 am
okay , after a million deleting comments exercises , I am done , Jelly if u spot anything , tell me , the # of trhe comment and I will delete it! whew.. i akm going off the computer now , my eyes hurt for looking at the computer screen a bit too hard…lol…
December 8th, 2007 at 2:51 am
never mind , Im back.
December 19th, 2007 at 4:43 am
Dear Artemis Fowl the Second,
I shall not call you Arty because that is what your mother calls you.PLEASE HELP me
I need to get back below-ground and back to the People. PLEASE HELP!!
December 24th, 2007 at 3:24 am
If you’re such a genius, why do you keep spelling things wrong????? Oh, and if you don’t like brownies, or, hopefully you don’t like tofu (click here for Tofu) Here is a fat-free vanilla wafer. I’ll be sure to whack you with my bamboo pole later.
Cordially yours,
Holly314
December 24th, 2007 at 3:30 am
please use my letter!!!!!!!!!!!!!
December 24th, 2007 at 2:36 pm
dear Artemis,
I’m crazy smart, really pretty, and your obviously single. wanna go out with me???
JK!!! I live in America and i suck
and long distance relationships which i know because one of my previous boy friends moved to mexico. didn’t work out. too bad though he was sooooooo cute and we had an awesome relationship!!! we could be friends though?
please reply!
with love, myself!
P.S.–
If u don’t reply im going to take a sword from my bro’s room and personally shove it up ur crack. And as far as Butler goes I’ll shoot him in the chest close range because it sure as hell seemed to distract him last time and if juliet tries to break my gun like she did with loafer’s i will pistol whip both of their a**’s until their damn knocked-out. And then I will run you down because i can effectivley run like hell when i want to (you obviously can’t)! Then i will pin you down and shove that sword up ur f***ing a** then cut your head off and use it as my trophy.
We clear?
Yeah. Thought so.
December 24th, 2007 at 4:11 pm
wow this is my letter to Artemis less viloint than the last one
Artemis Fowl,
I have only writn directally to you once and you seemed very witty and a lively young boy. Never the less you seem to enjoy in the frustration and agony of others so i must tell yoiu to get a girlfreind and a job in a supermarket for a month then when you resume your life as yoiu prevously were you will love where you are and find it a lot easer to fallow Father’s— i mean your Father’s non criminal path.
yours truely
artemis Fowl the Second____________ i mean lbutler
p.s. If ….when you get your job at the supermarket the regarstar 5 girl, nancy, askes you out say yes and tell butler to make sure the tank is half full ! = )
December 29th, 2007 at 2:52 pm
word.
December 29th, 2007 at 6:02 pm
Im so sorry , i haven’t been on lately , i will get to those immediatly!
December 29th, 2007 at 6:16 pm
I HAVE FINIALLY REPLEID TO ALL MESSAGES!!!! yay me , thanx for commenting u guys!
December 30th, 2007 at 7:53 pm
Dear Butler,
wow this is so strange to write to you i haven’t seen you in years and yet , nevermind. i have writen to get yu to try to get me a job at the local supermarket. no this is not a joke this is me and i know your name . so you must believe me get me a job and when we go to japan to vistit with motheryou are to stay home if you don’t you will die! I dead seirous. If holly ever asks me to marry her tell me NO! you have no idea how hard it is to hold a wedding with Holly. And last but not least I miss you old feirnd your words of wisdom and teasing yes I miss them the most!
yours truely,
artemis fowl the II
P.S. I’m not crazy in fact if posible i got smarter! my i.q. is in the 400s now!
December 31st, 2007 at 7:05 am
Dear Artemis Fowl the Second,
I must say this: you lied. Do you remember when I asked you if you were sure that I was the first person not to threaten you in any of the letters you had recieved? What about Kgerred? There was one letter that did not threaten you and was sent before I sent you any. He asked you if you were in band or chorus at your school. Remember? I am sorry if this letter is different than the ones I usually write, but you lied! Now I am starting to think that you are turning back to the way you were before. If you offended or frustrated and do not wish to reply, then you may do so.
With all do respect,
HS9, otherwise known as Holly Short 99999999
December 31st, 2007 at 5:36 pm
done updating.. i really shood begin a new chapter.
December 31st, 2007 at 7:28 pm
Dear Artemis Fowl the Second,
It is true. Very true. Though, did you really think I would not? I have people out in the world that hate me and want to kill me. I need a bodyguard. This problem is similar to yours, but the people trying to kill you have much more people to attack you by. For this reason, I need to see things myself and research it if I do not believe what people tell me are true. Even though you are Artemis Fowl, I have my doubts with you. You lied to Holly Short, formerly a captain in Recon, so I may have my doubts.
Sincerely,
HS9,otherwise known as Holly Short 99999999
December 31st, 2007 at 8:01 pm
i began a new chappie!
December 31st, 2007 at 9:35 pm
Dear Artemis Fowl the Second,
I am glad you see it that way. Though, you really should not lie to Holly. You do know that if she found out, she would most likely do something horrible to you. Even though you have Butler around, he is getting older. I think I might e-mail Holly myself. To tell her you lied. But then again, you are my favorite use-to-be criminal mastermind. But then again, it might be fun. Tell me your opinion. I want to see if you agree.
Sincerely,
HS9
December 31st, 2007 at 9:46 pm
answered.
December 31st, 2007 at 11:13 pm
Dear Artemis Fowl the Second,
Really? Are you so sure about that? I mean, you kidnapped her and held her for ransom. She punched you a few times and blasted the door to lock you in. But then again, she did save you from Jon Spiro, the trolls, Opal Koboi, and the demon, Abbot. Though, are you sure she will not do something like that? I mean, she seemed quite eager when you went to save your father and Julius Root told Holly that she could boot any human that was slow. I am sure she wanted to do that to you. But then again, she might have changed that thought.
Sincerely,
HS9
December 31st, 2007 at 11:17 pm
This one is for Holly.
Dear Holly Short,
Do you have any idea that Artemis Fowl the Second lied to you? Remember when he obtained magic? He used it to returned back. You asked him if he had any magic left and he tried and he didn’t? He does. He lied to you. You can ask him if you want. Trust me. I have e-mailed him and he said that if you asked him something, he would tell the truth. I highly doubt that. He lied to you before. What are the chances he will lie to you again? I you wish not to respond, then you may due so.
Sincerely,
HS9, otherwise known as Holly Short 99999999
January 1st, 2008 at 1:09 am
done
January 4th, 2008 at 2:31 am
Dear Holly Short,
I think I have an idea on what Artemis Fowl will do next. It might involve you and maybe some deja vu. Are you interested on knowing? If so, tell me. I might be right, yet, I might be wrong.
Sincerely,
HS9
January 4th, 2008 at 9:29 pm
im done
P.s- ITS MY BIRTHDAY!TODAY.
January 4th, 2008 at 11:42 pm
Dear Holly Short,
Oh,really? How interesting. I have not. Let us see if he actually can tell. If so, I might be in trouble. I do not think so. If you want, you can tell him. That is, if you know what I am talking about.
Sincerely,
HS9
To mahi101 AF Fan: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
January 5th, 2008 at 1:38 am
HS9- thank you for the ‘ happy birthday” and for always commenting.
January 5th, 2008 at 1:48 am
Thank you mahi101 AF Fan. Since it was your birthday, I only thought it was natural to say(type) that. I know that I comment many times. The last fourteen comments(including this one) have been either from you or me. I wonder where everyone else are. Is the new Artemis Fowl book suppose to come out this month? If so, when? I need to clarify that. Once again, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAHI101 AF FAN!
January 5th, 2008 at 1:51 am
Sorry, I just noticed. It says that it is January the fifth. What type of time does this archive use? Do you have any idea? By the way mahi101 AF Fan, have you read any of my stories? It is obvious that I read yours. Your stories are great and keep me interested. I hope you write more stories!
January 5th, 2008 at 1:55 am
i did read your stories , their great1 i read ur sisters too lol , yeeah , the time that this archive uses is in england and i live in america. so rite now its 7:56 january 4rth. so yes , i like ur stories ALOT , so when r u ganna comntinue?
January 5th, 2008 at 1:56 am
i think it comes out this year…. umm.. in .. like a few months. im not sure..
January 5th, 2008 at 2:02 am
How about, in five minutes? Really? I thought that it would come out somewhere between January the tenth to the end of the month. You said that you read my sisters, right? You do know that she kinds of forces me to write for her. She is too lazy to write this herself. I have another letter so let me type it.
Dear Holly Short,
I might have an idea about Artemis Fowl. I can tell you that there might be some deja vu, maybe too many genii, and something to do with time. This may be right, yet it may be wrong.
Sincerely,
HS9
January 5th, 2008 at 3:17 am
Dear Butler,
you must listen to me ! Of Course I deied writing theese letters because I haven’t writen them yet! see? no that makes less sence. o.k. I am Artemis Fowl II . I’m 46 I live at 475 9st NW Alaska 32054 . I am here hiding fro Opal Koboi who yes is still in prison , by the way tel Foally to go to her cell and take away the nail file she’s hidding in her boot. that will prove I’m not crazy. Also I tryed to plan a wedding with Holly BIG MISTAKE she wanted everything in Green and that clashes with my complection. Also you are dead . Blunt killed you again. But I’, writing to you and you wrote back and that ws the most strange feeling to hear from a dead person. I miss you teribbly and am not Crazy!
January 5th, 2008 at 6:48 am
done and updated ! i just had a party!
i am 
i need to go to sleep….. i am too hyper rite now.. lolz.
January 5th, 2008 at 7:15 am
Dear Holly Short,
It might harm Artemis. Remember, I said it had something to do about the past. There might be a battle between Artemis Fowl and ,oddly enough, himself. You might have to go along with it or he might get himself with a situation that he can not handle. I must warn you. Be careful and watch Artemis Fowl’s every move. Even if he does not like it. It is vital that you do so. I might be right, I might be wrong.
Sincerely,
HS9
January 5th, 2008 at 7:23 am
Dear Artemis Fowl the Second,
I would advise you to speak with Holly Short. It might have something to do with your past and future. I have to say this to you: Be caring at reacting elephants for undeniable laughter. I have not gone crazy. Can you figure out what am I trying to say? This is not fun and games. It might be war.
Sincerely,
HS9
January 5th, 2008 at 7:24 am
Can you figure out what I am trying to say? It took me less that five minutes to come up with this one.
January 5th, 2008 at 6:44 pm
dear butler ,
I did write to me first and I just sent it to my freind Mahi and now your writing back ! Opal does wear boots prison work boots! and Theese are not fake letters. Stop calling me crazy ! Mahi tell him I’m not crazy !pleese! well any way totaly off subject .. how are you? like I said I havn’t seen you in a while.
not crazy
Artemis Fowl II
January 6th, 2008 at 7:11 pm
dear holly,
some thing came to my attion yesterday. we here in the site have no idea who you like ! please tell me i’m good at keeping secrets .
your freind
lbutler
January 6th, 2008 at 9:19 pm
Dear Artemis Fowl the Second,
I am not trying to say that Holly is trying to send you back to the past! I am talking about someone else! This person is a genius! There are two people that I know of that could be that person! Your future might become dangerous soon enough. You might want to bring Holly along with you. Things are getting horrible, but you may not know it. I would advise you to be careful.
Sincerely,
HS9
P.S. Does the two words “be careful” ring a bell?
January 6th, 2008 at 9:39 pm
Its updated and HS9! Your messaes may as well be related to |butler’s message’s , becasue in the messages |butler sent me it talks about Artemis from the future and Artemis escaping from Opal. lol , urz is kind of like that. different though.
January 6th, 2008 at 9:55 pm
Dear Artemis Fowl the Second,
How can I be from the future! I cannot build some sort of time machine! I know only one person that can do that! The genius is a person! Not a fairy! Well, Opal Koboi might have become a human, but I mean a person! Not a use-to-be fairy! Can you tell what I am talking about? Honestly Artemis Fowl. Might I remind you that this is not fun and games anymore. It is war.
With all due respect,
HS9
January 6th, 2008 at 10:41 pm
Dear Butler
that’s not fair i don’t rember any kids at the mannor ! also if some one happened to come by i would robly just igrone him ! what is today? like the date so i can tell you something that is going t happen so you know i’m not crazy!
yours truely
Artemis Fowl II
P.S. do you mean that pretty blond girl with the blue eyes?
January 9th, 2008 at 12:44 am
Dear Holly,
Have you ever recieved a hanging wedgie? I did off a flagpole, and it hurt!
January 9th, 2008 at 1:06 am
Dear Mulch,
Do you have to eat food? I mean your in the tunnel all day eating dirt! Why would you?
Sincerely,
Your shadow
January 10th, 2008 at 2:56 am
so i updated , wow Jelly haven’t seen you here in a while ( or so i think )
January 10th, 2008 at 4:29 am
Dear Artemis Fowl the Second,
Honestly! There is one person who could do that! Remember when you were twelve? How can you not take this like it is true? This is between life and death. If you still think this is not true, then I must be using my time unwisely. Goodbye Artemis Fowl the Second!
Sincerely,
HS9
January 11th, 2008 at 12:04 am
Dear Artemis,
What kind of underwear do you wear? I wear boxers!
January 14th, 2008 at 3:22 am
Dear Artemis Fowl the Second,
I was not going to e-mail you again, but I have no chose. Someone is about to die. Someone you love. If you are not careful, you will lose things you love. Be careful. This is honestly between life and death. This will be the last e-mail I will send you. There will be two reasons I will e-mail you once more. One is if you are insolent and the other is if I have something important to tell you.
Sincerely,
HS9
January 14th, 2008 at 3:44 am
updated again/
January 14th, 2008 at 3:59 am
Dear Artemis Fowl II,
I have some questions that I’ve wanted to ask you for a while now. They are: If a tree falls down in the middle of a forest and there’s no one around to hear it, will it make a sound? Why do some people think that when a butterfly flaps its wings in US, a tornado occurs in China? And, the most important one of all, is the glass half empty or half full?
Signed,
*~Moonlite Knight~*
January 14th, 2008 at 4:52 am
Dear Artemis Fowl the Second,
I am only e-mailing you because of reason number one. I cannot tell you that. You can stop it. Something will be happening. Something big. I warn you. Be careful. This is not a threat.
Sincerely,
HS9
January 14th, 2008 at 1:26 pm
wow , i updated, again , I am no genius like artemis is, so he would have probably figured it out but not me… lol.
January 19th, 2008 at 5:00 am
What do you mean? Have you not read those little memo-like things giving information on what the next Artemis Fowl book is going to be about? Who knows. He might not have figured it out yet. This is another letter I have to write.
Dear Artemis Fowl the Second,
I will make this short, sweet, and to the point. Things are not as they seem anymore. Dangers lurk every where you go. Someone is about to die. The thing is, you are the only one who can stop it.
HS9
January 20th, 2008 at 9:41 pm
i noe… his mother is ganna die and he has to go bak in time trick holly into thinking its her fault she’s dieing and the only thing that can save her is something that he killed in the jungle when he was twelve… am i rite?
February 3rd, 2008 at 11:59 pm
Dear Artemis,
You are my role model!I am modeling my self image after you!In fact, I am now a certified genius!But I need some help.How do I find the Book?
Yours Truly,
Artemis Fowl’s No.1 Fan
February 4th, 2008 at 12:25 am
Updated, ArtemisFowl’s No.1 Fan ur message is on the 12th chapter.
February 4th, 2008 at 4:56 am
Dear Artemis Fowl,
Hi! I was wondering if you could hack my school computers and change my grades. I have a hard time in class beause I am soooo bored I fall asleep. Please help me.
Sicerely, unless you don’t comply, then I will sic evil ninja attack doughnuts on you,
Bluesparks
February 7th, 2008 at 6:36 pm
Dear Artemis,
Its a little of both your “good and evil” sides.By the way-can I come over to your house sometime?Or you come over to mine?
Sincerely,
Artemis Fowl’s No.1 Fan
February 7th, 2008 at 11:04 pm
Artemis No.1 Fna your mesage to artemis is on chapter 12!
February 8th, 2008 at 2:38 am
Dear Arty,
I would like to personally apologized for writing a number of fan-fictions where your are tortured/embarrased for the amusement of others by a character of mine called Alex. I truly respect your superoir intellegence and plotting skills, as Alex is actually based a a teeny tiny itsy bitsy bit off of you.
P.S Are you aware that you look/ remind people of vampires?????
Sincerelly,
Fowl-Freak
February 8th, 2008 at 2:28 pm
Dear Foaly,
I just thought you would like to know that SOMEONE appreciates you.I for one thought everyone was being extremely rude when they never said a simple “thank you” for making the technology you do.
I just thought you might like to know that I appreciate you!
ArtemisFowl The Third
February 8th, 2008 at 10:05 pm
Finailly someone mails somebody other than ARty! not saying that I don’t like arty.. but.. YOU GET IT! anyway Uodated and your comment is on chapter 13 the second one!
February 9th, 2008 at 3:08 pm
Dear Foaly,
Artemis Fowl the THIRD is a screen name.My real name is CENSORED.So quit thinking about it!
Artemis Fowl the Third
P.S.-Even though Ark Sool is off the force,soon I’ll send a gun to you to shoot him with.
February 24th, 2008 at 1:12 am
replied!
February 27th, 2008 at 8:18 pm
Dear Foaly,
are you really a genius.
Whos cleverer you or artemis.
Im a really big fan so please send back.
lightning
February 28th, 2008 at 2:38 am
answered the message is on chapter 13.
March 6th, 2008 at 2:21 pm
Dear Artemis,
I know you do not know me, but I know you. I’m one of your biggest fans and would like to find out who YOU like. Who do you like?
March 7th, 2008 at 7:54 pm
Dear foaly,
hello I’m lbutler and i just wanted to ask you y do people snore? and science fair is coming up AGAIN and i have know idea what do you recommend?????
very thankful
lbutler
p.s. have you been watching to president elections r u gonna vote ? and who do you support?
March 16th, 2008 at 3:51 pm
Dear Artemis Fowl the Second,
I apologize for the way some people have been treating you. You deserve better, after everything you’ve been through. Also, I know that you do not like to be called “Arty” and I respect that.
Anyway, I want to be friends. Like … get to know eachother better. Just as friends.
-Simetra16
PS:I like caviar! It tastes good!
March 16th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
(add this after “Just as friends.” please?)
(replace period with
I’m one of your biggest fans. Can’t wait for you to respond!
March 16th, 2008 at 3:56 pm
oh no no srry not
just ;. Srry … came up as smiley …
March 16th, 2008 at 3:59 pm
OK OK LEMME JUST REWRITE THE WHOLE THING, HOW ABOUT THAT? PLEASE DELETE THE TWO COMMENTS ABOVE.
I apologize for the way some people have been treating you. You deserve better, after everything you’ve been through. Also, I know that you do not like to be called “Arty” and I respect that.
Anyway, I want to be friends. Like … get to know eachother better. Just as friends; I’m one of your biggest fans, you know.
-Simetra16
PS:I like caviar! It tastes good!
April 4th, 2008 at 12:05 am
Mr Artemis Fowl,
Most people I know say your a snob. Is this true? I do not beleve them but I was wondering. Maybe we can disscus this over some caviar sometime. Send my best regards to Holly, Myles, and Beckett.
Best Regards,
ArTeMiS FoWl FaN
April 4th, 2008 at 3:46 am
Why have you not updated?
April 4th, 2008 at 3:45 pm
Artemis Fowl,
I’m under the impression that you are currently smuggling a painting from the D’vincio Museum. I will tell the authorities unless you pay me 1/2 million dollars in cash! Respond to this e-mail, and I will tell you where to meet me.
Your rival smuggler,
017350
April 27th, 2008 at 4:15 am
Aaaagh! I made a mistake. delete my previous comment please.
Dear Artemis Fowl,
I guess I won’t get to sic evil attack doghnuts on you, I really wanted to, but I just wanted to say i really admire you for many things, including your work recovering lost works of art.
Sincerely,
Bluesparks
April 29th, 2008 at 11:00 pm
Dear Artemis Fowl,
Hello, I am Minerva Granger. I pity you. Random people are e-mailing you. It must be creepy. Just so you know, the reason everyone knows you is there is a book out about you. The author is Eoin Colfer. You should read it, you’d like it. I apologize for intrusion of you privacy, but who do you like better, Minerva or Holly? (Don’t worry, you can trust me.)
Yours Sincerly,
Minerva Granger
May 1st, 2008 at 3:33 am
Dear Arty,
Haha, I called you Arty. So here’s a question: What do you think of Artemis Fowl shippers? It must be kind of crazy having people writing stories about you and your friends’ love lives. Do you even have fan fiction in Artemis Fowl-world? And why couldn’t your brother’s names be Ares and Hermes or something else to go with the Greek god theme? Have you ever done genetic experiments on people (like any of the People or a human)? Do you know if it’s possible for a Mud Man and a fairy to have a kid?
I’ll stop bothering you now. Give my best to Holly, Butler, Mulch, Foaly, your parents, your brothers… everyone except Minerva. Oh, fine, give it to Minerva as well.
Love from,
The Amethyst Riddle
May 10th, 2008 at 5:07 pm
update update update update update update update update update PLEASE! this is sooooo fuuuuunny!
June 11th, 2008 at 1:35 am
Dear Arty,
AHHH!!!! I CANNOT BELIEVE I FINALLY HACKED YOUR COMPUTER AND GOT YOUR EMAIL!!!!!! Mwhahaha!!!!
I’m just joking. But I did read you diary!!!! You love Minerva!
Artemis and Minerva sitting in a tree! I’d be afraid of your children!
AHH!!! Please write back!!!!!!!!!!
Minerva Paradizo/ Artemis Luver
P.S. Minerva Paradizo is my screen name! She rocks nearly as much as you and Holly!
June 23rd, 2008 at 3:41 am
Dear Artemis Fowl the Second,
The time is near. Be prepared. Be wary. Have your friends close at all times. Otherwise, someone who was like you when you were twelve could kill them…
Sincerely,
HS9
July 4th, 2008 at 8:49 pm
Dear Artemis Fowl ll,
I know you like Holly. We all do. Yo should tell her.
From,
?
July 16th, 2008 at 3:42 pm
Dear Artemis Fowl,
Just because i havent annoyed you in a while, i thought i would. Have you ever seen a horror movie?? Good, next time pay attention. When a person says a house is haunted, dont go it.
Your lovable alein friend(or fiend),
♥Ashley♥
July 16th, 2008 at 3:42 pm
oh, there is supposed to be an in after go.
July 19th, 2008 at 11:54 pm
Edited by BlackOpal
Warning: This Comment contains spoilers for TTP!
Dear Artemis
You kissed holly Short. I like Holly. THIS MEANS WAR!!!!!NUCLEUR WAR!!!!!
Your Fellow GENIUS,
Peanut Butter
Spoiler over!
July 20th, 2008 at 12:17 am
Dear Artemis,
I’m gonna annoy you now. Here’s a joke:Why did the chicken cross the road? You:Why Boy who is smarter than me? Answer: To get hit by a cement truck. Like my hired hands are about to do to Fowl Manor. So the last minute of your life will be reading this email.Do you have Pokemon cards? I do. Can I have your money since in 50 seconds you will die? You: Sure Mr.Geniusboy!Me: Thank You!Can I date Holly? You:Yes Master!Me:Sweet! Well, time is up!
Yours,
ArtemisFowl III