Appellations (WE’s Failure of a Take)

Summary: PLEASE, PLEASE READ. ARGH. I really want feedback on this one, folks. WE's getting agitated... *has author panic attack*

Chapters: 1 2 3 4

2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 52 votes, average: 5.00 out of 52 votes, average: 5.00 out of 52 votes, average: 5.00 out of 52 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5 (2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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Alright, here’s my Challenge of the Appellations entry. I thought that the deadline had passed, but when I saw that someone else had updated theirs, I decided to give it a shot. I’ve never been too happy with the quality of my songfics, and I’ve kinda given up on them, but here we go… and hey, if I am too late, at least it gives me writing inspiration. XD. Italics are italics. Italics with a circumflex (~) in front of them are lyrics.

LET’S DO THIS! First song — Hoot by Girl’s Generation (SNSD). It’s a translation, and I apologize if it’s inaccurate. Here’s the site I used: http://yeinjee.com/lyrics/snsd-hoot/

And really… review? For me?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F4-SxcCO5d0

He didn’t know of it, that was all.

It couldn’t’ve been that he was trying to do this, to hurt her. He just didn’t know. Even with that unfathomable brain of his, he never considered that she might’ve taken an interest in him. She was a friend, just a friend, always the friend, and friends knew not of jealousy.

And she was supposed to be mature, understanding. She was simply supposed to understand why he’d look at others that way, accept and embrace the fact of it.

And yet, things didn’t always turn out the way they were supposed to.

~The moment I blink

~Again, you check it out

~Stop staring at the girls passing by

~Acting like you’re not, like you didn’t hear

~That snort with a thorn stuck in it

~All, all, all of it is weird

Offended. That was the word. Taken aback that she wasn’t an option, a possible love interest. He made it obvious who made the cut and who didn’t — charm was only palpaple around his candidates. Everything else was suddenly second priority, suddenly beneath his notice.

And it hurt, a dull, aching pain.

~How about being a little more nice to me?

~Your abrupt speech hurts so much

~I really don’t like

~Becoming used to it

~All, all, all of it is disappointing

~Where are you looking?

~I’m right here

Not even half awake, but she’s trained herself to respond to that ring. She’s said her hello before her brain registered that she did.

“Hi, Holly. I hope I didn’t wake you up.”

“No. Of course you didn’t.” The lie doesn’t matter. It’s a small one. She’s bright-eyed and bushy-tailed now; he’s speaking to her.

“Well, I have an obscure meeting coming up. I was wondering if you could… could you just be there tonight? Stop her if things get ugly?”

I don’t approve of it. “Yes. Of course I’ll be there.”

Of course.

Of course this love was a mistake. A slip-up that shouldn’t’ve happened. While it was too late to take it all back, start over and rewind to that night under the oak tree, she could anticipate future events. Make sure it didn’t ever happen again.

~Because of you, my heart wears an armor

~Now I’ll fight back

~Your arrow is trouble, trouble, trouble

~It aimed at me

~You shoot, shoot, shoot

~I hoot, hoot, hoot

And so, that night, she sat, watching. Reminiscing past times as she did so, almost not paying attention to the exchange before her.

That heart of hers was swimming. Drowning in a sea, a web of spoken lies. It had been up so high, flying-flying-flying, and now it fell all the way back down, down from whence it came, too tired to go further.

He lied. He lied. He lied.

Unnecessarily.

How could he? Trust that’s broken hurts more… so much more than it would’ve before. If she hadn’t trusted, for instance.

Don’t trust. It works out better. No more expectations that will not be liven up to.

~I’m scarred by your words soaked in poison

~I gave you a second chance

~You’re definitely trouble, trouble, trouble

~You waited for the right time

~You shoot, shoot, shoot

~I hoot, hoot, hoot

He raised a brow. Today’s associate was actually quite attractive, which you didn’t get a lot in the criminal industry. She smiled prettily, pleasantly, politely.

Foolish. Do not fall for that smile.

It was jealously, and she welcomed it.

~I heard you fell into another girl’s trap?

~End of excuses! You still can’t come to your sense, right?

~You won’t meet a good girl with that attitude

~You, you, you forever

~Don’t be mistaken

~You’re not Cupid (you are)

 He smiled back.

Indignant.

Offended and taken aback.

How could he?

Full of surprises. She sneered.

Why did she still love him?

~Because of you, my heart wears an armor

~Now I’ll fight back

~Your arrow is trouble, trouble, trouble

~It aimed at me

~You shoot, shoot, shoot

~I hoot, hoot, hoot

~I’m scarred by your words soaked in poison

~I gave you a second chance

~You’re definitely trouble, trouble, trouble

~You waited for the right time

~You shoot, shoot, shoot

~I hoot, hoot, hoot

She slunk out the back door like a coward, vengence swooping and diving like a bird from somewhere within. I’m not standing for this any longer.

She shut out her panic. He’ll-never-like-you-now-this-is-a-big-mistake-get-back-there-Short —

No.

~If you try to float on water, I’ll make you sink

~In the circle I made, you’re all around

My everything… is drifting away…

Until it’s nothing…

~You just answer questions again that I didn’t even ask

~But I still won’t shoot an arrow like you did

The doors closed behind her, and the pretty girl suddenly didn’t seem nearly as pretty as she had moments before.

“No? You don’t like my offer?” she asked in her lisping tones.

“I’m sorry that we couldn’t arrange anything, but if I can’t have an extra ten grand with your offer, the deal’s off.” He reached for his suit jacket, but his hand was halted.

~Because of you, my heart wears an armor

~Now I’ll fight back

~Your arrow is trouble, trouble, trouble

~It aimed at me

~You shoot, shoot, shoot

~I hoot, hoot, hoot

~I’m scarred by your words soaked in poison

~I gave you a second chance

~You’re definitely trouble, trouble, trouble

~You waited for the right time

~You shoot, shoot, shoot

~I hoot, hoot, hoot

Guilt. Your fault.

And. And.

You loved him.

She looked at the body, eyes unseeing. Traced the fatal wound with her slim fingers. From an arrow, obviously — it’d cut straight through his aorta, rendering it useless.

Artemis, the hunter. He’d become the hunted just as she’d turned her back. She swallowed, but her throat was dry and scratchy.

The hunter had been shot.

Irony.

He surely would’ve appreciated that.

Nonetheless, a tear fell.

Did that make sense? Anyone?

I have to write the next three over the next six days — that’s one every two days. Who thinks I’ll make it?

… Aiya. I’ll probably edit this later… Didn’t get to read it over…

Chapters: 1 2 3 4

Comments on This Post

7 responses to “Appellations (WE’s Failure of a Take).” Join in!

  1. That made sense! I figured it out! (I think). Basically the other person killed Arty with an arrow at the end, right?

    Zero mistakes, and I think you’ll make it. 🙂

  2. That was really well written, I loved it. No con crit allowed on Challenge Entries though, so that’s all I have to say. 🙁 Oh, and you know that there was an extension on the challenge (http://artemisfowl.fangathering.com/fanfiction/announcements/an-extension-on-the-challenge/) so you can still make it, right? Anyways, good luck! 😀

  3. Oooooh I like. Cookie (::).
    Why can’t you make mistakes like normal people?!?

  4. FantasyDevourer: Thanks, I felt uncomfortable with it. XD. By the way, I only made it because of the last-minute one-day extension. THANK YOU, FOWLIE!

    Bobo: Haha, yeah. I wish I’d seen that announcement earlier — I could’ve started sometime at the beginning of September instead of days before the due date.

    ILoveFowl: MINE! *snatches cookie*
    Hahha, I do make mistakes. But thanks. ^^

  5. I love it! This is amazing. Espicially the Orion one.

  6. Well, since the comp is over, I can give a review then.

    Mistake free. Why am I even mentioning that…?

    So, yeah, songs fit well, but the only things I DIDN’T like was that the actual writing was a bit far between, separated by a bunch of lyrics. So…that means the actual flow is a bit…hm…not choppy…but…not as smooth as I would like it.

  7. Wilde: Thanks.

    TM: Wow, that was actually great concrit. Now that I look out for it — read it the whole way through — the lyrics did kinda disrupt the flow. That’s probably the same with all my songfics because I type up the lyrics paragraph by paragraph based on how it’s sung. *has author panic attack* NOESS. Awesome advice, but I can’t really apply it (which is kinda the point). For some, it might be too confusing to separate the lyrics differently (i.e. Butler’s — the lyrics represent a time lapse, too)

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