Amon Dilo: The Capture of Criminals
Written on December 2nd, 2008 by Amon DiloStory Details
Loading ...Captain Holly Short of the LEP recon had set quite a few records in her carrier. Most were good one’s, saved the fairy civilization the most times, fought the most number of trolls at once (that one hadn’t been to fun at the time) and lowest core dive, were just a few of them. Their were however bad ones, like subject of most internal affairs tribunals and now, kidnapped twice! Not even corporal Grub had managed that!
Holly sat on a chair; she had little choice on account of the ropes tying her there. Across the table was a row of criminals. They had to be criminals, something about the eyes. Not exactly a hunted look, but something like one. From left to right: a tiny pixy with a pointed face, an ugly goblin with only one eye, another goblin, this was the one who she’d chased. A human wearing a gas mask, a dwarf wearing a sombrero and a wingless sprite. She could also see an elf tied to a pillar on her right, thrashing against his bonds. Holly could put a name to most of these, and not one of those names was reassuring. Particularly as she was responsible for the arrest of five of them.
The human leant across the table towards her. “Now my good elf, I would very much like you to answer a few questions. I ask, you answer, we all go are separate ways and every one is happy”.
Holly looked along the row of faces and then back at the impassive gas mask. “And if I refuse”? Holly asked. She didn’t really think she had to ask this question. She knew what happened when prisoners didn’t talk. In the LEP, it would mean a cell and if the prisoner was human, the mesmer. In criminal circles, the next step with an uncooperative hostage often involved fire and pointed objects.
The ugly goblin she recognized as general Phlebum laughed. “In that case elf, I think I light up a fireb…”
“No” snapped the human. “We are not common muggers, we are professional criminals. And that means we must have class. And need I point out that beating up a girl and setting fire to her feet lacks it”. He turned to her “if, captain, you do not answer then we will keep you here until you do. And this is not a threat, merely a statement of fact. We will eventually have to untie are comrade captain Turnball. And he is not happy to see you I’m afraid”.
“Talking of which” said Unix “I’ll just see if he’s calmed down a bit”. He walked across to the now still Turnball and undid his gag. “You feeling better now sir?”
Turnball glared up at him “yes I’m feeling better. You can untie me now”. When Unix didn’t move he rolled his eyes. “I promise not to hurt miss short, I know we need to question her”. When he had been untied he took his seat on the far end of the row and smiled at Holly. It was not a happy expression. It was the sort of smile generally seen in front of a black fin, heading towards a drowning surfer.
Holly considered her options, she could talk and the criminals might let her go. Or she could keep quite and hope the human could stop the goblins igniting her head. And then again, she just had to answer the questions, she didn’t have to tell the truth. Holly licked her lips and then said “I’ll talk”.
Amon nodded “excellent captain, excellent”.
Ix grinned menacingly at Holly. It would have bean a whole lot for menacingly if he didn’t have to sit on a several cushions to bring him up to the height of the criminals on either side of him. “Firstly captain, what security does the LEP ransom gold vault have?”
The question was a veritable gold mine of information for Holly, this group were planning to break into police plaza and steal the ransom gold. It also told her that she didn’t need to worry about lying to the criminals. Because she new nothing about the ransom fund vault. Only the commander, Foaly, the Council and a choice few of the most trusted majors had ever entered it. “Its very tight security down there” she volunteered hopefully.
“Really?” said Turnball in mock amazement “you mean they’re actually protecting a mountain of gold? Well that’s are stroll in and pick it up plan out the window then”.
Sputa glared at Turnball and then looked back at Holly. “What kind of protection is their little captain?” Sputa didn’t like sarcasm much, mainly because he hadn’t ever got the hang of it. In his book it was just a bad lie. If you’re going to tell the truth, tell the truth. And if you’re going to lie, well then lie. But Sputa couldn’t see why you’d try to cross them over.
Holly considered, maybe if she told them the place was impregnable, which it probably was, they’d give up. “Well, theirs fingerprint scanner, retina scanner, cameras, armed guards”. She took a breath, “thermal scanners, access codes, an access key and DNA stun cannons” she finished.
Phlembum and Bobb had their mouths open in the universal expression of “err….what?” The human was motion less, Sputa was staring straight ahead of him and mouthing soundlessly as if he was scrolling through Holly’s list. Unix and Ix both looked at each other, as if asking the other whether police plaza really was the best place for a robbery. Turnball however started to laugh, “Well done captain Short, well done indeed. And of the top of your head like that too. But might I remind you that I was in the LEP and I know that the ransom gold vault is classified to major and up”.
“But” said Sputa “Turn, you were in the LEP five hundred years ago. Things might have changed”.
“They have, they have” Holly blurted out nodding franticly. She should have remembered about Turnball being captain Turnball.
“Maybe” said Turnball, smiling as though he didn’t think so.
Meanwhile, Artemis Fowl and his manservant Butler, sat in the back of an LEP retrieval squad truck. Around them, retrieval officers tightened straps, turned off safety catches, buzzed down visors and said variations on “Lock And Load, Are You Mean, Ready To Make Some Goblins Cry!”.
Commander Kelp was driving, Foaly was tagging along as a consultant and Mulch was their in case some digging was needed. Captain Bud, captain Verbil and corporal Grub where there because…because they didn’t want anything happening to captain Short. Holly was a popular elf. There where also five or six retrieval grunts. The sort of hard bitten, well trained military personal that had this bean a film would have been killed by the monster in the first attack, whilst more important characters escaped.
Every one was armed, even Artemis, who had chosen a Neutrino 3000. Foaly had programmed the gun so that only Artemis could use it. As they drove under the tall stone arch, baring large bronze letters that spelt out The Eleven Wonders, Artemis wondered for the millionth time since he’d heard Holly had been abducted, was she alright. The LEP truck stopped, its nuclear battery hummed quietly. Artemis heard commander Kelp swear under his breath. “Problems commander?” he asked.
Trouble turned in his seat to glare at Artemis, “the name of the place is the eleven wonders. See if you can guess the issue here”.
The commander was right, ahead of them stood eleven arches, each bearing the name of the wonder that lay behind it. There was no way of telling which wonder the kidnappers were using. Artemis thought about the wonders, most wouldn’t be suitable. Most would be impossible to keep the trolls out of and others wouldn’t make good hideouts. The great pyramid of Giza, no. The temple of Artemis, no. The Colossus of Rhodes, no. The lighthouse of Alexandria, yes! It would be perfect, a tall tower with every thing from store rooms, to great view. “I think” said Artemis “that we won’t arch seven”.
Trouble didn’t even ask how Artemis knew, if you asked Artemis how and why he knew things all the time it would take years off your life. Instead he drove the truck towards the seventh entrance.
Amon put his face in his hands and groaned. The triad had split into three factions, Sputa and Ix who said the elf captain was telling the truth. Turnball and Unix who said she was lying. And Bobb and Phelbum who continued to say “what?”
“Look” Amon shouted eventually “lets just move on to the next question shall we? We’re obviously not going to come to a conclusion about this one any time soon”.
“Alright” agreed Ix, and then turning back to Holly “alright missy how many…”
And then, without warning, they were all plunged into total blackness.
Whilst the triad had been disputing whether her lies where true or not, Holly had been trying to free her hands, which were tied behind her back. She had eventually managed it, and had been waiting for the right moment for a couple of minute before the blackout. The moment the lights went, she sprang from her chair. It fell to the floor with a crash.
“Little elfy is making a run for it!” roared Phlebum. He charged in the direction of were he remembered Holly had been, knocking over the table. “I got her” he shouted a moment latter “stop squirming you little stink worm and I won’t have to turn you into charcoal!”
“It’s me you over groan salamander” screamed Ix. “Let go off my head will you!”
As the goblin and the pixie struggled in the blackness, Holly crept towards where she thought the door had been. When suddenly a trailing hand brushed her arm, and before she could pull away, it griped her like steal. “Got her” came Amons voice from the dark.
Holly struggled, but the grip was too tight. She bunched her fingers into a fist and swung as hard as she could in the direction of the human’s voice. Their was a crunch and a cry of pain, and Holly had made it. By the light of the blue sparks healing her injured knuckles, she could see the human lean down towards her. “Here’s a tip, never punch a man in the face when he’s wearing a gas mask”.
Amon looked in the direction he remembered Sputa had been in “hay Sputa, lets have some light”.
“Right you are” came the goblins voice from a completely different part of the room. And a moment latter they were all blinking in the flickering light of a fireball the goblin was holding on his palm. Turnball picked up a Neutrino 2000 and pulled the trigger experimentally. Nothing.
“Ah” said Amon “well that’s potentially problematic”. And then the door exploded inwards and they were all blinded by LEP torch beams. And a moment latter, retrieval and recon officers were pouring in.
Turnball was old, but he hadn’t got to wear he was now by being slow on the uptake. Therefore a hefted the useless handgun as hard as he could towards the doorway. Captain Bud ducked it and it hit a retrieval grunt in the face. And then things came to a head, and they did so with a lot of swearing, punching and use of buzz batons.
Bobb roared like an enraged pit bull and launched himself at Mulch. The dwarfs locked jaws in the classic dwarf combat style (each combatant try’s to swallow the other, whilst punching them as hard as possible). Bobb was quite a large dwarf and things might have gone badly for Mulch, had not commander Kelp knocked Bobb out with the butt of his Neutrino 3000 pulse rifle.
Unix took one look at captain Verbil and screamed “Wings!!!” and through himself at Chix. The two sprites fell kicking and struggling to the floor. Unix occasionally shouted disjointed words along the lines of “Wings, Mine, Give”. Chix however managed to draw his pistol and plugged the maddened criminal in the chest. He was lifted of Chix and slammed into the wall.
Phlebum ignited a fireball drew back his arm and…received a Neutrino pulse right between the eyes. Without a single change in expression he keeled over backwards. Ix was a pixie who had gone through life following a code. And this code said, “He who doesn’t fight today, will probably be able to run away again another day”. He ran through several pairs of legs dodged Grub and ran for the door. Ix was, as has been said, a pixie. This meant that he was only 30cm’s high. And this meant that when Foaly’s buzz baton connected with his backside, the charge was enough to life him a good 5 feet into the air and knock him out for a good three hours.
This left Sputa, Turnball and Amon, who backed away from the advancing wall of LEP uniforms.
“Any ideas” muttered Sputa out of the corner of his mouth.
“I’m working on it” growled Amon “you don’t happen to have a tear gas grenade, some chicken wire and a bottle of aspirin o you?”
“No” said Turnball bluntly “and while you try to find them, I’ll be making a break for it”. And so saying he did just that, Sputa following his lead. On Amon’s left he watched Sputa charge forward, punch a terrified Grub out of his way and almost make it to the door. It really was almost, but not quite. A meter from it he was rugby talked by a huge LEP gnome and Sputa quickly disappeared under a mad scrum of officers, still kicking, biting and swearing. On Amon’s right Turnball dodged and ducked past officer after officer. He to looked set to make it to the door, when commander Kelp stepped into his path.
“Alright Turnball, hold it there”. Trouble expected the old elf to stop, expected him to come, if not quietly then not that loudly. He didn’t expect the old elf to launch himself towards him screaming like a demon. They crashed to the floor together, with Turnball’s hands around the commander’s throat. Technically, Trouble should have been able to take Turnball with one hand tied behind his back. He was half the criminals age and was battle hardened from a thousand LEP commando raids. But to Trouble’s surprise (and it wasn’t a nice one) the thin fingers around his wind pipe were like steel wires. He gasped as he tried to dislodge Turnball, but lack of oxygen was already making his head spin. Trouble was using honest muscle and skill, but Turnball was using rage, madness and hatred.
“I remember” hissed Turnball through clenched teeth “that you once said to my dear brother that I hit like a pixie. Well this pixie has one thing to say to you…”
“Bed time” rumbled a huge voice from over head and a huge fist came down hard on the top of Turnball’s skull. Even madness can only go so far, the elf’s eyes crossed and he fell side ways off Trouble. Butlers hand came down again, but this time it helped the coughing commander to his feet. “You alright commander” he asked.
Trouble nodded, not yet having enough spare air to waste on talking.
Amon backed away from the none to friendly wall of LEP officers. He seemed defeated, but he still had one last card to play. A card in the shape of captain Holly Short. Amon twisted Holly’s arm behind her back and placed his dagger against her throat. He would much rather have used an LEP blaster, it didn’t seem right to kill a young girl like this. She couldn’t be over twenty five (or possibly eighty), but beggars can’t be choosers.
“Alright” he shouted to the fairies and massive bodyguard “not one more step, or you’re officer is going to have a very sore throat indeed”. They stopped. “That’s good, now all of you just back against that wall there and I’ll just step outside, with captain, Holly wasn’t it?”.
Holly tried to glare up at him without moving her neck more than she needed too “you know something human? You can go to h…” and then she stopped.
Amon glanced around the room, every one seemed to be holding their breath. Something was wrong. Every one was here weren’t they? The huge bodyguard, the commander, the sprite, the two elves from the car, a group of retrieval commandos and of coarse the female. Every one. No wait where was the human youth. Something hard pressed against the base of his skull.
“Now” said a polite, icy voice behind him “please let go of captain Short and drop that knife”.