Amon had been in the lower elements for only a couple of hours and he had already discovered that the sprite captain from Tara was most defiantly not the best the fairy world had to offer. He’d been chased by upright crocodiles that lobed fire balls and almost got run over by a hover trolley.  Amon had always been one for working alone. Friends and allies got in the way, they complicated maters. On your own all you had to do was watch your own back, not keep running around to see if every one else’s was still intact.  But he was begging to realize that he would need help to succeed down here. A gang maybe? But only the best fairy criminals would do.
 

He had found a fairy newspaper and with the aid of the little ancient Egyptian he had studied at oxford he read it. It mentioned what sounded like the ideal person, a pixie by the name of Opel. However he decided against it. For one thing according to the paper she was nutty as fruitcake and for another she was in Atlantis. He didn’t want to have to travel to a different city to break some loony pixie out of prison. The paper did mention a place that sounded ideal for finding the right sort, Howlers Peek top security prison. It was in Heaven and he thought knew where it was (when you’re a master thief you begin to recognise prison architecture and Howlers Peek screamed PRISON from every guard tower and concrete wall). Howlers Peek was, according to the article, a goblin prison. But it also said that there was a top security area for Heavens best and brightest. Or if your not a criminal, Heavens worst and darkest. Perfect.
 

That night, or more accurately, when the sun strips in the cavern roof of Heaven had dimmed, Amon began to climb Howlers Peek. It was a sheer wall of concrete, over 300ft. Punctuated  by cell windows. Amon used his preferred tactic when climbing tall buildings, the Buzz Hocks. He had invented them himself and resembled a dagger with a thick corkscrew for a blade. When he tapped the top of the handle with his thumb, or in the case of the ones attached to his boots, contorted his ankles in a pacific way, the corkscrews burrowed there way to the hilt into the wall. When he repeated the action, they withdrew.  It was messy, after he’d climbed a wall it ended up looking like someone had planted carrots all the way up it and had then ripped them out. But there were times when subtly surrendered the driving seat to speed.  
 

On reaching the top Amon carefully checked for cameras. One, two…three. Was that all? Probably not, they were the obvious cameras. The not  so obvious one’s were probably organic or ran on recycled cats doings or something. Again, this seemed for a time when subtly should go and take a running jump. He aimed carefully at the  first camera with his silenced Luger, old but very reliable. Three shots, three dead cameras. They’d be up here in a few minutes to investigate, quicker if the woodworm powered spy cameras saw him. This would need to be fast, Amon ran towards a door leading of the prisons roof. Locked, damn, and he didn’t know weather he could pick a fairy lock. Maybe some of the fairy hardware from Tara could prove useful here.
 

Amon examined one of the items he had picked up in the Tara lock up. It was about  30cm’s long, had a complexes head of blades and wires, a button half way along it….and next to a string of fairy letters a picture of a key! Gently, Amon inserted the devise into the lock and pressed the button. The end promptly began to spin and twist in the lock and after only a couple of seconds the door sprang open.  
 

“An automatic lock pick, what will they think of next” Amon grinned to himself “now lets see if any ones home”.
 

Turnball Root sat in his cell, he had little choice, it was that or stand. His cell contained one bed, with no breakable, weapon adaptable parts, one wash stand with a mettle mirror above it and padded walls. And that was it, no window, just a small barred opening in his door at head height and a one way cat flap to allow food to be passed through. Ex-captain Root had been in Howlers Peek for, fifteen years now; he would be out in 5 or six, yes 5 or 6 centuries! And that was with good behaviour. Turnball was just considering, for the hundredth time shouting through the bars to tell the guard what he though of his face when suddenly said guard opened his cell door.
 

This was odd in itself, Howlers Peek guards were not the kind of helpful ones who walk into cells alone and allow themselves to be beaten up by there criminals. They were very disobliging on this front. And yet this gnome was doing just that. Turnball stared at him, he was slightly green and his head appeared to be trying to burrow down between his shoulders.  Suddenly there came a loud Thwak! And the guards eyes crossed and he crumpled to the floor.   
 

Now standing in the cell door was a human, in a long great coat, black gloves, old fashioned helmet and gas mask! He slid a blackjack back inside his coat and inclined his head.
 

“You would be Captain Turnball Root”? Asked Amon.
 

“Yes” answered Turnball in a worried voice.
 

“Are excellent, Captain, how would you like to be a free…er…elf?
 

“What kind of freedom, the your free to go to a lab and be experimented with kind of freedom?”
 

“No the would you like to be part of my criminal organisation sort”
 

Turnball considered this “what just me and you? We’ll need more than just a pair to deal with the LEP…that’s the police down hear”.
 

“any one you could suggest”?
 

Turnball nodded and led the way along the corridor to the next cell along from his “this one I think” said Turnball.
 

Amon nodded and put the omni-tool into the doors lock. After a moment the door opened to reveal a cell exactly like Turnballs only this one contained an old Goblin. General Sputa looked up at them in shock. “Wha…” he began.
 

“no time for that” said Amon follow us.
 

After a few cell doors later seven people stood in the corridor. There was Amon, Turnball and Sputa, all of whom had become joint leaders by unspoken agreement, with Amon somehow the best emongst equals. The others was another goblin named Phlebum, Turnballs old assistants Bobb the dwarf cat burglar and Unix the grounded sprite. There was also a tiny pixie, with a pointed face and the look of someone who could tell you what time it is in 12 different countries but wont because he doesn’t like you much.  His name was Ix Floon and was the best forger in the lower elements. And in the fairy world if you’re a good forger that goes hand in hand with being a computer genius, because the LEP was vert tough to beat on the technology front.
 

After a brief whispered debate all of the criminals agreed that a gang would be a good idea. They also agreed that they would all like to leave now. Amon led them to the roof and with the aid of a rope they all slid down to ground level. Just round the corner, an LEP police car was parked, it occupants looking very bored. They would very soon no longer be bored, but not necessarily more happy because of this.
 

Corporal Grub Kelp and Captain Anded Bud sat in there car on stake out. They were watching the main gates of Howlers Peek, which was an utter waste of time, no one could escape the place. Captain Bud thought he new why he had been given this stupid assailment and why he had been landed with the most irritating Corporal under the world.  The other day he had walked into Commander Kelp and spilt his hot coffee all over him. Was it a coincidence that he was now sitting in this tin can listening to Grub explain exactly why the LEP jumpsuit was a death trap? Probably not.
 

“…And” said Grub “you wouldn’t belive what I found in my lunch yesterday, go on guess sir”.
 

“I really have no idea” groaned Bud.
 

“I’ll give you a clue sir it…” and suddenly Grub fell silent. Thank heavens for that! Bit sudden though. Bud opened his eyes and turned to look at Grubs chair, it was empty!
 

“Gru…” began the captain, but then every thing went black. He came to wearing a prisoners uniform, lying on the ground, grub next to him similarly dressed, with a group of prison guards standing round them.
 

“Oh deary me” said a dwarf “thought you was safe if you stayed near the prison hay? Wrong move lads!”
 

“Look” said Bud “I’m an LEP captain, not a prisoner, they stole are car!”
 

“Really? And you just happen to be dressed like a prisoner because you like the colour I suppose”?
 

It took quite a long time and Trouble Kelp to come down to the prison to explain things before Bud and Grub were released. Bud was defiantly not Troubles favourite captain.
 

As Bud tried to explain himself to the Howlers Peek guards, an LEP police car drove along one of Havens streets, and it must have been real LEP officers driving it because they wore the uniform.
 

Next time: the gang find a hideout, plan there first robbery and really annoy a certain female recon officer.
 

 

Some other stories by Amon Dilo:

• Amon Dilo: The Capture of Criminals
• Amon Dilo: Captive of Criminals
• Amon Dilo: The 11 Wonders
• Amon Dilo: Beneath Tara
• Amon Dilo: Getting Ready For The Deep