A New World (Discontinued due to C&P issues)

Summary: A AF/TIMP Crossover. Artemis finds himself in a new place, with no memories of the human world. R&R&R PLEASE!

Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

5 votes, average: 3.60 out of 55 votes, average: 3.60 out of 55 votes, average: 3.60 out of 55 votes, average: 3.60 out of 55 votes, average: 3.60 out of 5 (5 votes, average: 3.60 out of 5)
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This is meant to be a ‘pilot’ episode, except its more of a prologue/first chapter. If few review, I may not continue it.

Disclaimer: I do not own, Artemis Fowl, Bleach, Naruto, or Final Fantasy. All belong to the respective operations/authors. I do not intend to copyright infrigment in any way, or earn money from them.

Disclaimer2: I highly recommend reading this: http://artemisfowl.fangathering.com/fanfiction/other/dummys-guide-to-immortals/ and familarize yourself with my world. If not, you are going to be confused, and I don’t want YOU to complain. Suck it up and read it. Seriously.

Three miles north of Konoha

Artemis Fowl the Second scratched his head and studied the scenery for the third straight time. Just like what his bodyguard, Butler would always tell him: If you are stranded without me, study the scenery. It can mean many things.” Artemis sighed. Meditating didn’t help his situation here, but he got some quick notices and facts about this new world he was brought into, somehow.

-There is a star, similar to the Sun.

-There are trees that resemble trees in the present world, such as the Douglas Fir, and the Hemlock.

-The vegetation, was also similar to Earth’s.

“Could this world, be another planet?” Artemis thought to himself as he studied the area around him for the third time straight.

“No. Otherwise I would have more gear and technology with me, if  I was to explore an planet.” Artemis said to himself, before noticing the cement walls that towered the trees.

“A castle…Maybe they can help.” said Artemis as he started with a light jog, going through the forest and the bushes in a moderate pace. It was only midday, but Artemis did not want to be isolated in the woods much longer, and he had to find why he was here.

A small patrol of Konoha militia were doing their usual rounds of patrolling around the Konoha borders, with their primitive muskets slung on their shoulders, and dressed in the militia uniform, a red coat and white pants, similar to the British Armies in the Napoleonic era.  They were bored, as most of the time many things did not happen in border patrol, compared to city patrolling (Which was more exciting, breaking up fights, and settling disputes to name a few examples.) Today, it wouldn’t be boring. Ten minutes around the city walls, they spotted a young boy, in a black suit jogging accross the forest, which was unusual and uncommon. It  was not a crime to run around the forest, but the militia felt they should bring in the boy and find his parents.

“You there.  Stop.” barked one milita, as Artemis paused and looked to his left, to see men with rifles.

“What is going on now?” said Artemis as he froze in his spot. Artemis frowned, as the milita closed in on him, and made quite the threatening effect on him, similar on how Butler had the same effect on others.

“What are you doing in the forest?” questioned another man, part of the militia as Artemis frowned. These men could be hostile, but they could be friendly. In seconds, Artemis decided it would be best to tell the militia his situation.

“With all due respect, I am Artemis Fowl the second. I am a human from Earth, and I am quite lost. I was wondering if you ‘police’ men could help.” said Artemis as the militia looked at each other and discussed what Artemis had said quietly in a circle, as the milita were confused as well. Humans could not access this world-Only Gods, or Immortals had transportation to travel between worlds. That was a thing taught by to militia. They decided, it would be best to alert one of the Immortals to deal with this young boy.

“Mr. Fowl, come with us. You are not in trouble, but this sounds like an interesting case.” said the militia who stopped Artemis first. Artemis solemnly nodded, as he treaded behind the group of milita, who were chattering about their lives to relieve themselves of their boredom.

“Mr Fowl. Welcome to Konoha city, the largest city, and the capital of the Konoha army.” said the militia captain after five minutes of treacherous walking from the corner of the walls to the Front Gates of Konoha. Artemis was slightly in awe of the large city, as he saw travellers and citizens walking around, with some on horseback.

“Follow us still. Do not reply back to the villagers. Ignore them.” said a younger milita, a man in his twenties, as he told Artemis before heading into the metropolis.

Artemis was shown into a three story building, where a crude sign printed, “Police.” Artemis was told by the captain to sit down in a conference room, which was similar to the ones he has seen many times. The milita left Artemis all alone, and the building was somewhat silent, as Artemis could hear the occasional slurp from the clerk on the front desk. He decided it would be best to update the situation once again.

-I am not in Earth.

-I am in a city called Konoha. It is also an Empire.

-This place is dangerous, but I could thrive in it.

Artemis sighed, as he wondered what his parents were thinking right now, knowing that their son was missing. His daydreaming was interupted as he heard a spark, and to the front of him sat a man, in his twenties a heart-shaped face and young features. His eyes were brown, and they changed when he blinked, as it was red after.

“Hello.” said the man. He was dressed in a black overcoat,and Artemis noticed that everything else he was wearing, except the sandals, were black.

“Who are you. What am I doing here?” questioned Artemis instantly, as he was utterly confused now. This man had appeared out of nowhere, and it was abnormal for Artemis.

“My name, is not of your concern, Artemis Fowl the Second. You are in no position to ask any questions. How did you get here? Have the humans at Earth finally found a way to reach Konoha?” said the man. The man was slightly angry, but after saying those words, his features relaxed.

“I see. You are a young Irish teenager, lost in this world.” said the man.

“How did you know? I am sure I have never seen your face in Earth.” said Artemis, losing his cool.

“I can read minds. Let’s leave it at that.”

Artemis dreaded this mysterious man-If Butler was here, he would probably decimated this man already.

Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Comments on This Post

12 responses to “A New World (Discontinued due to C&P issues).” Join in!

  1. Interesting…

    No mistakes I spotted. But seems slightly OOC. And confusing. But I’m sure when you update, it will be less so.

  2. Hmmm…… I like it. But, its kinda confusing.

  3. Hence why you should’ve have read the second disclaimer. And what’s OOC?

    Out of character. 😀 ~Fowlie

  4. this is really good! please update. OOC means out of character. I do a lot of OOC myself. Really! Just ask TM. If you do not update, I will shoot you with my rose petal gun!

  5. I’d like to mention a few things, but before the crit… I must say, this is quite the original idea. I love the three way crossover you’ve got going on. It’s going to be hard to pull it off. Many have tried, and I’ve never seen anyone gracefully execute something like this. I’m going to be watching this fic closely, because if anyone can do it, you can, Immy-chan.

    I’d like to bring to your attention a few occurrences in which I don’t believe Arty was in character.

    “Artemis Fowl the Second scratched his head and studied the scenery for the third straight time. Just like what his bodyguard, Butler would always tell him: If you are stranded without me, study the scenery. It can mean many things.” Artemis sighed. Meditating didn’t help his situation here, but he got some quick notices and facts about this new world he was brought into, somehow.”

    a. Artemis wouldn’t scratch his head. That’s generally a tick which betrays the fact that you are confused, and Arty hates to show weakness. So, it’s improbable he’d do such a thing.

    b. I felt this paragraph was constructed sloppily, it needs to be rewritten. It seemed out of place, if you ask me… unorganized.

    c. The layout is interesting, but the overall story doesn’t suffer, it’s actually more interesting. I love how you used the dashes to separate each thought he was having. It’s interesting.

    ““Huh?” said Artemis as he froze in his spot. “What am I doing wrong, sir?” said Artemis as the milita approached him, their expression grim.”

    d. Very OOC, Artemis wouldn’t say that. He’d exude an aura of knowing where he was… of holding all the aces. He would be more calculating, if you will.

    e. There should be an S after expression.

    “My name, isn’t your concerned, Artemis Fowl the Second. You are in no position to ask any questions. How did you get here? Have the humans at Earth finally found a way to reach Konoha?” said the man. The man was slightly angry, but after saying those words, his features relaxed.

    f. It should be: “My name isn’t your concern, Artemis Fowl.”

    h. I don’t think the man would relax after saying that, it seems out of place.

    Otherwise, it’s very good. Four out of five stars for an interesting concept and good prose. I look forward to an update. 😀

  6. Gawd. You write too many confusing fics.

    I like it, but you can’t expect me to read what, 50000 words of Immortal stuff.

    It’s good, and the desc is not bad at all, but you need to work on plot integration. This is an AF site, so not many of us have heard of Immortals, myself included. What would work best is if you would introduce the Immortals IN you fic, not as a disclaimer.

  7. I really like this idea, but it definitely is a little bit confusing. So far, I think that Artemis is just the tiniest bit OOC, and I saw a couple times where you misplaced some commas. Those are the only mistakes I saw.

    This is awesome! You should definitely continue! It’s very creative, and I’ve never seen anything at all with this kind of idea. And like TM said, I’ve never heard of the Immortals… so could you maybe try to just give little snippets of explanation here and there where it fits and blends well? That helps people to better understand. Thanks!

    I’ll give you…hmm… I wish I could give 4 and a half… so I’ll wait to rate until there’s a little more of a developed plot. Then I can be able to give you five stars most likely. 😀

  8. Plot hole: Foaly isn’t magical. Centaurs are genii, but they don’t have magic…

    Butler felt like watching himself do something he didn’t want to do.

    You missed the ‘he was’. It should be in between the like and watching.

    Okay, secondly, plot hole: Where the heck did Lisa learn Gnommish?

    Fixed what you said. And where did I say Lisa learned Gnommish? I’m pretty sure I had her saying she had no idea where it is o_o”-Immortal

    ‘Ey, ‘ey — no doubleposting! ~WE

  9. Ok so….many spelling mistakes in chapters 3&4. You have a good plot. This is really good,update.

    Instead of just saying many spelling mistakes, how about you point it out for me, because just saying that doesn’t help a lot.-Immortal.

  10. Immy, it would make more sense for Foaly to put his docs in Gnommish. So to her, it should look like a bunch of symbols, toadstools, and dragonflies. Just sayin’.

    Okay, on to this chappie: typos are many. But the main gripe about the latest update is the lack of spaces. I had to skip the last few paragraphs for fear that I would go blind. Fix the spaces, then I’ll come back to point the typos out.

  11. Wow, this is great. I have no idea why I haven’t read it before, but I was digging through FF and I found this. 😀 I only have time to read the first two chapters, sorry. I promise that I’ll read the rest later.

    Anyways, I found this really interesting, especially the character Nick. Artemis is a bit OOC, cuz I usually imagine him to be more…cold and not so nice. But I guess he’s changed a lot. :3

    I thought you did really well creating/describing a new planet and all that. Very creative.

    Awesome job, Immy! 😀
    5/s

  12. life
    Lift

    There was silence between the two fairies before a familiar figure teleported, and Holly saw who it was, with the blonde hair and white robes, it was Kendra.

    For a more dramatic effect, you can make a new paragraph before ‘There’. I feel there’s too many commas. A period between teleported and Holly would be appreciated. And edit out the and. And there are others, too, so I’ll just rewrite this chunk.

    There was silence between the two fairies before a familiar figure teleported in front of them. Holly saw who it was – blonde hair, and white robes…

    It was Kendra.

    …has tainted our Magic supply.

    Random capitalisation. You don’t need the capital in magic. At least, not for teh Eoin Colfer kind of magic. Also, it’s usually put as, ‘magic in our tanks’

    There are more, but I got lazy. Plus, try writing in Visual instead of HTML mode. The large block of text is kinda daunting. By default, it should put in a small space on top of each paragraph. Unless you’re copying it from another text editor. In that case, add paragraph spaces between each paragraph and paste it in HTML mode.

    I look forward to enhanced formatting. Well done, The Immortal One.

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