A Fatal Mistake- Award Winning! 3rd
Written on February 10th, 2008 by Star JininStory Details
- Category: General and What If? and Editor's Choice
- Author: Star Jinin
- Word Count: 1217
- Read 666 times
- Skip to chapter: 1, 2, 3,
(5 votes, average: 3.4 out of 5)
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Fowl Manor
Was it her fault it turned out this way? Did her own ignorance lead to Butler’s fate?
Holly couldn’t answer her own questions. If only she had completed the ritual sooner or if Root had sent another officer…
Holly negleted the ritual almost a year before and paid for it with her kidnapping. She did not learn from her mistakes. Holly buried her head in her arms. How could she ever face Artemis again?
Artemis was sitting in his study. How could this have happened? He couldn’t blame Holly because she could’ve refused for a healing altogether. The problem lied within himself…why couldn’t he have had Dr. Lane just take care of it? He overestimated the magic of faries-no he just staked Butler’s life on a plan that might not have worked.
Artemis knew he couldn’t relax just now and let Spiro have the C Cube. There was plenty of time to greive later. He settled down to think, but the events of the past 24 hours just kept clouding his brain. He needed total concentration for this. He took a shuddering breath and proceeded to Holly’s room.
“Holly? Could you please mesmerize me?”
Okay, I know this is REALLY lame, but as I said before, I have Writer’s Block Syndrome. Should I proceed with writing this? It MIGHT be the overall same plot as the Eternity code, and it might be completely different. Please answer!
February 10th, 2008 at 9:56 pm
Good! I like it! Tell us when we can read chapter 2. Artemis is bit OOC. But only a little bit! Keep up the good work! 4/5 stars!
February 10th, 2008 at 9:59 pm
I was making this in accordance of the Eternity code. He really did and said most of those things. Hey, Butler was his lifelong friend and he is dying. What else would Artemis do? You will probably see the change by the 3rd,4th, or 5th chapter.
February 10th, 2008 at 10:05 pm
Okay… I’ll wait and see…
February 11th, 2008 at 12:26 am
I like it, although it is a lot like the book at the moment. Please update so I can read that change.
February 11th, 2008 at 2:43 am
Arty was a lttle OOC. But I like it! ^^ Hiya! I’m mayqueen17 by the way! ^^
February 12th, 2008 at 4:35 am
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Butler!!!!!!!!!
February 12th, 2008 at 11:46 pm
Umm…constructive criticrism here?
February 13th, 2008 at 4:45 am
That wasn’t constructive criticism, it was my reaction. I really love the story. It is exactly how I pictured it might have gone if it went differently. Please continue!
February 18th, 2008 at 1:07 am
Uh… I’m considering on deleting this. Should I?
February 19th, 2008 at 12:00 am
NO!!! DO NOT DELETE THIS! THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE STORIES IN HERE!!!!
February 24th, 2008 at 12:21 am
NO! I just read this because it was NUMBER ONE on the rating list, you still thinking of deleting it, I THINK NOT! Sorry, really hyper now , anyway, I loved it, you should continue and show more of how this affects arty//…
March 2nd, 2008 at 4:53 am
I am sooooooooooooooo sorry mahi101, but I have a diffrent opinion. I mean, it’s good and all, but the story line, as different as it is, doen’t make it too interesting. Does Bulter really play such a big role in The Enternity Cube??? It’s only three chapters, so try writing a bit more, then consider.
March 2nd, 2008 at 7:22 pm
Well its not really about that I think its because arty was so close to Butler imagine loosing the only person who was closest to you, always there for u.. its kind of sad really/…… but ur rite too Hunter , I think if she continued maybe if he kept rememberred how he failed he wouldnt b as confindent or something?
March 27th, 2008 at 3:09 am
I mostly liked this, as it is. It’s sort of… rough in a way I can’t describe, and the mesmerizing bit at the end of Chapter 3 seemed too sudden.
But it’s really interesting- if you continue, I’ll definitely read it. But some advice: You should make it go in at least a slightly different direction than the real book, because it’s pretty boring reading something we’ve all already read.
Oh, and congratulations on 3rd place!
March 30th, 2008 at 7:51 pm
[…] “A Fatal Mistake” by Star Jinin is truly one of the most wonderful FanFictions on the net! This story’s gene is Artemis Fowl, and it tells about what would have happened if the evil Opal Koboi’s second attempt at world domination had worked. […]
May 17th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
Wow, the mesmerize part…
I guess the next chapter will be interesting.
Keep writing!
May 17th, 2008 at 5:59 pm
Actually, I’m discontinueing it. I entered this entry by mistake. The real entry was supposed to be Untimely Meeting…and I thought this was incredibly lame…
July 4th, 2008 at 1:47 am
Cool. Good story, but what do you mean by Holly’s room?
July 11th, 2008 at 12:34 am
its good, but you’re using too much of the book.
its kinda sad too, and i dont like sad stories!