Minerva’s death?
Written on May 7th, 2007 by Nicole_artistStory Details
Loading ...Chapter Three - The Giant Squid, Godzilla and a T-Rex.
The squid, who was normally a gentle kind beast of the sea, had gone crazy when it had been fired upon by the submarine. It was waving the submarine around furiously. If Artemis had been there he would have pointed out that if the submarine flew out of it’s tentacles and hit the ground, it would rip open the covering of the nuclear battery and the nuclear bombs and they would explode with such a force that they would be fried more than McDonalds chicken nuggets, except that they would be reduced to ash and no one, not even a kid who ate worms, would want to eat them.
Not that anyone was thinking that.
“ARHHHH!!! AIEEEEE!!!†came the frightened, shocked yells from the Minerva haters and, of course, Minerva. Butler, who as we all know, at least by now, had assumed general protector of all. So he demanded that Dumbledore conjure up a Sig Sauer, some harpoons and a box of Oreos (he was hungry). Dumbledore did, and Butler scarfed down the Oreos and started attacking the giant squid, carefully avoiding firing at the submarine and dodging flailing tentacles.
Minerva, making a nuisance of herself as usual, ran down to the giant squid to check it out. “You know, no giant squid has ever been found alive as they always stay quite deep down, and are very elusive. I should report this to the Institute of Aquarian Animals, and maybe then I’ll get my Nobel Peace Prize. I’d kill for that prize, you know.â€
Perhaps Minerva would have rambled on some more about the prize, but a moment later she was dragged kicking and screaming into the water by the giant squid.
“Damn!†Nicole swore. “I wanted to finish her off!â€
“Uh, Nicole…†AFr said. “I think we have bigger problems.â€
Nicole stopped gazing grumpily at the giant squid and turned to face the direction where everyone else was looking in wide-eyed shock. Godzilla and a T-rex were battling a kilometre away in the Forbidden Forest, knocking down trees and disturbing crows. The whole group was transfixed by the fantastical creatures roaring at clawing at each other. Eventually they ended up on the Hogwart’s lawn, mere metres from the quaking cluster of Minerva-haters.
“I have an idea,†Katya whispered.
“What?†everyone chorused in an undertone,
“WE RUN FOR OUR ARTEMIS-OBSESSED LIVES!!!†she screamed, and everyone bolted for the castle.
At the exact same moment two things happened. The giant squid, who was now playing with the nuclear battery with a tentacle, mutated because Butler grazed the side of the battery just enough for the tiniest amount of nuclear stuff to make contact with the squid. Minerva, who was somehow still alive (Mary-Sues are hard to kill) escaped from the clutches of the giant squid and swam for her life to the shore. Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on your point of view, she had a broken arm so it took her quite a while.
Some other stories by Nicole_artist:
- Artemis's Diary
- Were Artemis Normal... Chapter 5 added! (Or fixed...)
- A Bad Day, Or Not? CHAPTER 7 ADDED 30/8/07!!!
May 7th, 2007 at 11:42 pm
I really liked this, Nicole. I have a feeling I missed out on some inside jokes, but the jokes I got were quite funny. I love some of the more discreet references to both AF and HP. It was a little hard to follow (I somehow missed how you all ended up at Hogwarts), but good nontheless.
I don’t think a sequal is necessary. It can stand alone.
May 7th, 2007 at 11:49 pm
i like it,except for the fact that you all wanted to kill minerva,who,btw is TOTTALY AWESOME!!!!!!!!!! but, other than that, it was really funny, if not a little fast paced
May 8th, 2007 at 11:47 am
MMK - we magicked ourselves over there.
FD - but we DIDN’T kill Minerva, which is quite something. ^_^
The reason there would be a sequel is that there’s another pic with roleplay involving Minerva and WWIII in it.
May 9th, 2007 at 3:11 am
yay I love and I like my line the “hey I have an idea” what?”we run for our artemis-obses lives” love its its so funny
May 9th, 2007 at 8:33 am
You didn’t metion me…
May 9th, 2007 at 10:39 am
Did you contribute to the roleplay?
May 9th, 2007 at 4:14 pm
So I don’t hate Minerva but the fic was good anyway!
May 10th, 2007 at 10:25 pm
Ummmmmm…..I know some people like minervia is because she just wants everything Artemis wants but hey I just sit here and wait for the sequal. Are u going to write one though?
May 13th, 2007 at 10:16 am
IT WAS A KOOL STORY!!!!!!!!
KANT WAIT FOR DA SEQUEL
May 13th, 2007 at 9:53 pm
Even though I am a non Minerva-basher, I must say that this story is supposed to be under crossovers because of the whole Harry Potter thing, how did the editors miss that??
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May 15th, 2007 at 3:25 am
I am the editor who approved this story, and since this is not centered on Harry Potter, and just uses references randomly, I felt that it fit best in this category. If Nicole_artist thinks otherwise, she can say something herself.
Also, please don’t use so muany punctuation marks. They add nothing to your comment (for more on writing a good comment, check the article on writing a good review in the ‘Help and How To’ section).
May 16th, 2007 at 11:49 pm
^_^ *giggles in delight*
i like it. quite entertaining. thank you.
May 18th, 2007 at 12:38 am
WOW! that was really good.
My story stinks…
:(.
I really liked it!
May 18th, 2007 at 1:43 am
This story, although for Minervabashers, it just grabbed my attention, and i couldn’t stop reading, congrats!
P.S. Hi, Haleo!
May 19th, 2007 at 7:09 pm
Nicole, i love it. can i be in the sequel? i hate minerva. iuf you say no that’s cool cuz it’ll still be funny. anywaysy, story was AWESOME!:)
May 28th, 2007 at 5:35 am
ahh! pure joy!!
we should do sum more like those Nicole!!
i added one in one of the roleplaying picz where iset out thith cathrel to get my revenge on you..
for you guys who dont kno.. Na *supposedly * erases my memory in another role play… but itz not like it seems.. lolz!
May 28th, 2007 at 11:05 am
I saved my butt back there - for the while anywaysy. I’m thinking of turning al of our random roleplays into fanfics, especially all the skill-stealing ones. So if you happen to be in one, rest assured you will get a chance at fame!
June 6th, 2007 at 8:17 pm
I luvvvvv it. this is the best, most hularios & most mixed up story ever. 2 bad you never got to kill her.
June 12th, 2007 at 11:03 am
But then I might be flamed. It’s easier this way, and keeps readers hanging on for more…
June 15th, 2007 at 3:41 pm
I LIKE THE HARRY POTTER IN THERE. MY TWO ALL TIME FAVE BOOKE SERIESES ARE ARTEMIS FOWL AND HARRY POTTER!!!! : ) YOU ROCK AT THIS WRITING THING!!!
June 15th, 2007 at 3:44 pm
STILL LUVING THE HARRY POTTER- ARTEMIS FOWL MIX!!! YOU ROCK OUT LOUD! THE BORED AMERICAN OVER HERE IN MICHIGAN IS NOT BORED ANYMORE!!!
June 15th, 2007 at 3:47 pm
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) YOU ARE AWSOME!!!!!!!!!!!11
June 15th, 2007 at 3:57 pm
I TOTALLY LOVED IT!!! THE AF HP THING IS AWESOME!!! CAN I BE IN THE SEQUEL!!!????!!!
July 4th, 2007 at 3:27 pm
Even though i am not a Minerva basher I still enjoyed it! I love how you mixed the two books.
August 11th, 2007 at 9:39 pm
THAT WAS TOO DAMN HILARIOUS!!! OMFG that was good! (excuse my french)
September 13th, 2007 at 9:58 pm
it was kinda weird but i guess i actually just don’t understand why artemis didn’t turn up and fall in love with nicole_artist …
December 6th, 2007 at 12:04 pm
Well, it’s like this. When I first read AF, I wanted him to fall in love with me. Then, a few months later, I realised that that was a stupid dream, even if he were in this dimension. So I wanted to be his friend. Now, in the last few months, I’ve wanted to be HIM. Strange, huh? Mainly because I like the respect he gets, and the depth to his life. My life and the world seems pretty shallow. Not in a materialistic way, just… we don’t really have a purpose, or a goal. Our ultimate moment is death. Depressing, huh? I just wish something exciting would happen that gave me a purpose… something of worth to the world, or at least myself. Does anyone know what I’m talking about?
December 6th, 2007 at 11:08 pm
no. but I like the story!
February 16th, 2008 at 5:18 am
Does this include magic? How did she get turned in to a pumpkin?
February 16th, 2008 at 5:25 am
Nicole_ artist what weird dream. My sister had a weird dream about Draco Malfoy. She had a box full of diaries and they said I HATE DRACO MALFOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and the next diary said I REALLY HATE DRACO MALFOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and alway on her next diaries it alway had another really in it. (Not real life)