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I Want

Summary: I edited it to make it rhyme better! Here’s the new version! I want to eat CHOCOLATE! Every single day! […]

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I edited it to make it rhyme better! Here’s the new version!

I want to eat CHOCOLATE!

Every single day!

I’m not allowed it, but it’s awesome

Whatever Arty says.

I want JELLY BABIES!

The red ones are the best!

Arty says my teeth’ll rot,

I’d say he’s a pest.

I want LOLIPOPS!

That’re bigger than my head!

I want Coke and lemonade –

…But it makes me wet the bed…

I want PIZZA!

Arty eats baby fish…

On my birthday, I want a cake

So I can make a WISH!

I want to eat the MOON!

(If it’s really made of cheese)

Arty says I can’t have it –

But I remembered to say please…

I want to get a DOLPHIN!
Just ‘cause I think they’re cool

But Mummy says it bad for it

If I keep it in my room…

I want jars of TREACLE!

And I want a pet bunny!

Whatever I want, I can get,

Because Daddy’s got the money!

Better?

Comments on This Post

25 responses to “I Want.” Join in!

  1. FoalyIsAGenues October 3rd, 2010 at 9:41 pm 1

    YAY chocolate!! *first comment dance*

  2. *first comment dance* aww… adorable!! you get a lollipop. ^^

  3. That’s very cool. And cute, and all that other stuff. 🙂 You made a small typo in the first paragraph-me, not my. Also there’s a big blank spot at the bottom. =)=)

  4. That’s cool. 😀 I assume its all true, right? 😉

  5. Beckett Simpleton October 4th, 2010 at 4:33 pm 5

    Thanks guys 🙂 No ratings? 🙁

    I know. the blank spot’s because I don’t like typng at the very bottom of the page, so I click enter a few times. This time, I forgot to delete it though. :mrgreen:

  6. Its a good poem. Its kind of funny. Tell me. Have you ever tried to do a songfic of the song “Little Lion Man”?

  7. Beckett Simpleton October 5th, 2010 at 4:59 pm 7

    LITTLE LION MAN! YAAY! LOVE THAT SONG! No, actually. I shall listen to it now and think of something!

  8. just be sure to replace that one bad word in the song.

  9. Beckett Simpleton October 6th, 2010 at 5:20 pm 9

    Praises. Yessir!

  10. Love it. Amazing. Wow. 😀 😀 😀
    I HATE ‘Little Lion Man’! I hear it too much.

  11. how can anyone hate a song by Mumford and Sons?

  12. Your an awesome poet. I love it! Do more or i will attack you with my minions!

  13. Beckett Simpleton October 8th, 2010 at 3:41 pm 13

    EG… Okaaaaay… There’s also ‘My Brother which is the same sort of thing.

    I dunno. I don’t like ‘A White Blank Page’ from when it gets past ‘could you lie next to her.’ I know that’s the first line, but i like the way he sings it 🙂

    Thanks Falcon. If you hear LLM too much, it’s kinda like All Fall Down and Nothing Ever Hurt Like You by OneRepublic & James Morrison. It gets annoying. 🙂 Or ‘My Patch’ by Jim Noir…

    *lightbulb pops up above head*

    My Patch… Oooh I could annoy Arty with that…

  14. Next time maybe make Artemis write a poem.

  15. Beckett Simpleton October 9th, 2010 at 4:49 pm 15

    Kay. 🙂

  16. awesome poem dude!(if you are a dude)

  17. Beckett Simpleton October 16th, 2010 at 2:23 pm 17

    I am a dude-et actually 🙂

  18. o. oops. have an oops-cover-up marshmallow. (I’ve GOT to think of better names for marshmallows…)

  19. …since you seem to be taking my marshmellow thing I shall resort to grapes, grapes are now my thing 🙁 I guess I’m opting for the healthier option now.

    Now onto the main topic, I thought this poem was quite cute, but I don’t personally think it’s amazing I just think it’s very cute and fun.

  20. This was a very cute poem. Something to work on: it’s really hard to nail rhythm and line length, so don’t take it too hard when I say that you could work a bit on that. I especially like the last verse – sounds like a Fowl! Someone tell Beckett not to listen to Artemis!

  21. Beckett Simpleton December 3rd, 2010 at 8:12 pm 21

    Thanks 🙂 Yeah, I’m not the best at poems. This is, so far, as good as I get. I can only really do humour 😉

  22. That’s adorable. *squeal* It fits Beckett perfectly. *grin* Would YOU like some chocolate, BS?

    -Star* :mrgreen:

  23. Beckett Simpleton December 23rd, 2010 at 8:56 pm 23

    Yeah! I Loves Chocolate! *big grin*

    But we don’t have any chocolate in the house. And I really want chocolate now…

    Damnit

  24. LOVE IT! These are all things I wanted when I was little, too. And it’s also how I thought of my baby brother. 🙂 5 stars!!!!

  25. Well. I likes teh new version.

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