Foaly switched on his laptop and activated the cameras he had planted in Artemis’s study. It was dissapointing what he saw, the human wasn’t doing a thing, sitting and staring at a computer.
Foaly slumped back to his own chair, thinking.
Stupid ideas, come to my head.
Something on the screen caught his eye. A landline.
He dialled Artemis’s number, then waited.
“Yes?” came the reply. “May I help you?”
Foaly thought fast. “Uhhh….YEAH!! Hey didya know why the chicken crossed the road?”
Artemis had already hung up.
“Boring Mud Boy,” grumbled the centaur.
He hurridly dialled the number again.
“What?” snapped Artemis.
“Eh…YOU GOT IT WRONG HUMAN THERE IS LIFE ON MAAAARS!!! I WILL GET YOU!!!”
“I never doubted life on Mars. Goodbye, thank you for wasting my time.”
“Aaargh darned Mud Boy!!”
Foaly made another attempt the next day.
“I AM THE TOOTHFAIRY ARTEMIS FOWL! THIS IS MY REVENGE!!”
“Actually, sir, the tooth fairy does not exist. Goodbye.”
“WHO SAID I WAS THE TOOTH FAIRY DUDE I AM SANTA CLAUS!”
“He doesn’t exist either. Now, if you would stop this.”
“WHAT— HE CUT THE LINE?!!”
Foaly was already getting agitated. Maybe he’d have better luck next time.
Foaly decided to give it one last shot. He dialled Artemis Fowl’s number and hoped an idea would come to him.
“What? Who is this?”
“Who the heck are you? Shall I send Butler?”
“You wanna know where I live?”
“Perhaps I do.”
“Then swim to the bottom of the Dead Sea, there’s a piece of paper down there with my address on it, and it is the only place on the Earth my address is written! Good luck coming here and hurting me!!”
“WHAT?! WHOEVER YOU ARE, I SWEAR I’LL TRACK YOU DOWN!!!”
Foaly could barely control his laughter. Oh, the bliss. The wicked, wicked humour! Fowl bought it! Finally!
Now he turned his mind to something else.
Now, if I could only post that whole conversation on my website….