Blackmail
Written on July 5th, 2009 by iwa the Chris TormentorStory Details
- Status : Complete
- Category: Funny
- Author: iwa the Chris Tormentor
- Word Count: 433
- Read 166 times
(6 votes, average: 4.33 out of 5)
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It was dark and thank goodness that Artemis was out eating with his girlfriend Holly. There was something weird about her but this is not about her. I silently tiptoed toward Artemis’ room. Where is it? Where could he be hiding it all?
I had a stick in my hands afraid of booby traps but than why whould there be booby traps in a room? But again he is Artemis Fowl the Second.
I opened the door and saw it all! The computer! Of course. I turned it on and I clicked everything he had and soon I found everything I needed. Actually more than I needed. Some were useless like this file call LEP whatever….
I wrote and printed everything. It all took but half an hour. Now I can controll him! Muhahaha!
This was my plan. It is very simple. Find things embarrassing to tell Holly. I knew her email address. It was blackmail.
Mwhahahaha. I waited by the front door and less than an hour came Artemis Fowl. The door opened and there he came in. I sneered at him. He said, “Why are you staring at me Beckett?” I grinned. “Because I have what you need.”
“I don’t have time to play silly games with you.”
“Oh, but it isn’t silly and this is buisness.” Artemis raised an eyebrow. “I have mails never sent, pictures, silly love poems, diaries, and more for you lovey future-not wife Holly.” Artemis frowned.
“what”
“You have pictures of Holly in bikinis and when she was a baby. Why does she have pointy ears, Artemis? It she an santa elf? or has she had surgery? oh and one of the letters never sent: Dear Holly Dolly
You are soooooo hot in a green bikini and I mffffffffffffffffff.” Artemis….
“You will give me those right now to me.” He was red as a tomato.
“You have to do something if you want this.”
Artemis sighed, “What?”
*********
“Uhhhhh this is torture!”Artemis was in the kitchen washing dishes. He was wearing a hot pink apron with girly flowers on it. And in the middle it said: I’m a cute fluffy girly cook. I was taking pictures secretly.
*********
“Give me the papers now,” he shouted. I gave it to him and he went running to the nearest bathroom. He was so easy to trick. I still have all the impormation including pictures of him in an apron.I never said I wouldn’t email Holly did I? I said I would give him the papers. That was it so I will email Holly all the embarrassing impormation.
MWHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!
July 6th, 2009 at 2:05 am
Funny story. Nice job =)
July 6th, 2009 at 3:29 am
That really works.
July 6th, 2009 at 4:02 am
*spits Dr. Pepper all over computer screen* BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!
Ugh… Now there’s soda on the screen…
So very funny!!! *continues chuckling*
July 6th, 2009 at 2:26 pm
haha tks!
July 6th, 2009 at 4:18 pm
HAHAHA LOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!!!!
I THOUGHT U WER A BAD WRYTA????????
THAT WAS HILARIOUS!!!!!!
@YOSHI: CAN I HAV SOM DR.P COZ I’V JUS HAD A PACK OF SENSATIONS THAI SWEET CHILLI ND I’M REALLY CRAVIN MA DR.P!!!!!!!
@IWUVARTY: BIKINI??????????? HOLLY IN A BIKINI????????
HAHAHA OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH THATS GOIN IN2 THE WONKY BRAIN CLUB!!!!!!!!!
July 7th, 2009 at 5:13 pm
Bikini… try to imagine her in a green bikini….
Can you imagine what the letter would have said?
Dear Holly
Blablablablabla…..
From Arty….
Mwhahahahhahahahahahaaaaaa!
Bikini was the best I’ve got… think you can do more?
July 7th, 2009 at 6:46 pm
YEA!!!!!!!!!!!
ANY DAY!!!!!!!!
WANNA HAV A COMPETITION LYK THY DID 4 “WAT HAV I DONE”? COM ON IT WILL B REALLY FUN!!!!!!!
I’M REALLY NOT COMPETITIVE!!!!!!!!!!
July 7th, 2009 at 8:43 pm
And in that you mean for “WAT HAV I DONE?”
What do you mean?
July 8th, 2009 at 6:46 pm
THEREZ A FIC CALLED WHAT HAVE I DONE AND THERE WER 2 PPLE WHO WROTE THE SAME FIC ND THE ONE WITH THE MOST VOTES (AS IN RATED) WINS……..WE COULD COM UP WITH A STORYLINE ND BOTH WRYT IT IN OUR OWN WAY…..U KNO JUS 4 FUN!!!!!!!!!
COM ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????????????
July 8th, 2009 at 7:36 pm
Oh…. there is 2?
Yours is probably going to win!
I have no idea how I came up with this story…?
And sure! Toushiro
July 9th, 2009 at 7:20 am
Why no update!!!!?
July 9th, 2009 at 2:18 pm
I think I already updated this story a long time ago!
July 9th, 2009 at 4:12 pm
YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ALL WE3 HAV 2 DO NOW IS 2 MAKE A STORYLINE THAT WE CAN BOTH DO!!!!!!!!
ANY IDEAZ??
HOW BOUT A CROSS-OVER???
LIST DOWN ALL THE BOOKS U’V EVA READ OR T.V PROGRAMMS ND THN IF THRZ SOMFINK ON UR LIST THAT MATCHES WIV MINE…..WE CAN START!!!!!!!
July 9th, 2009 at 7:16 pm
Hmmmmm… list down allllllllllll the books I read? That will take all my life but I’ll try….
I’ll list the books that I have read this and last year…. most of them….
July 9th, 2009 at 7:34 pm
books I have read and half of it i dont remember: Soldier’s Heart, Brian’s Winter, Stormbreaker, point Blank, Skeleton Key, raven’s gate, the devil and his boy, evil star, Island of the Aunts, witch week, the secret country, book of a thousand days, eagle strike, Ark angel,sabriel, snakehead, dragonhome, fairest, indian captive, crispin, time bike, hoot, ever, hollow kingdom, the wanderer, holes, children of the lamp, the blue djinn of babylon, sharkbite, magyk, flyth, physik, queste, peter and the starcathchers, peter and the shadow theif, peter and the secret of rundoon, the tail of emily windsnan, lirael, brisingr, peter pan, a girl of limberlost, abhorsen, anne of green gables, ingo, the seeing stone, timothy of the cay, at the crossing places, dragon keeper, lose kin, the host, heidi, tom trueheart, wintersmith, princess Academy, igraine the bold, among the hidden, goose girl, among the betrayed, among the enemys, among the barons, enna burning, strange Happenings, escape from memory, the wadjet eye, death of a princess, just ella, among the brave, found , double identity, sondok, upprising, the graveyard book, cirty of masks, city of stars, time cat, city of flowers,airman, inkdeath,paint the wind, esperanza rising, beetoven, the fall, caste, aenir, the secenth tower volumes 4-6, jackaroo, trickster’s choice, perloo the bold, samuel blink and the forbidden forest, my daniel, samuel blink and the runaway troll, i no who likes u, the name of this book is secret, life as we knew it, treasure at the heart of the tanglewood, magic steps, tanglewreck, crispin The edge of the world, go big or go home, gamer girl, I’d tell you I love you but them I’d have to kill u, cross my hearth and hope to spy, if you’re reading this it’s too late, palace of mirrors, the book of dead days, eye of the oracle, enoch’s ghost, full tilt, last of the nephilim, on the devil’s court, the doll in the garden, obernewtyn, ashling, the 39 cluesI, the 39 clues II, the black book of secrets, the bone magician, gods of manhattan, benny and omar, the wishlist, every soul a star, whales on stilts, the demigod files, leepike ridge, fearless, dragoneye reborn, star girl, the true meaning of smek day, the light house land, cobra king of kathmandu, the day of Djinn warriors, the eye of the forest, escape from Warsaw… do I have to continue?
July 10th, 2009 at 11:48 am
WELL THE ONLY 1 I’V READ OUT OF ALL OF THEM IS BRISNGR…..GO ERAGON ND ELDEST……..BUT THEREZ ALREADY A ERAGON MEETS AF FIC SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I DONNO……….
July 10th, 2009 at 11:49 am
NOOOOOOOOOO WAIT I’V READ AIRMAN!!
WE CAN HAV ARTY MEET CONNOR!!!!!!!
NOW 4 THE PLOT!!!!!!!!
2 THE THINKIN CHAMBER!!
July 10th, 2009 at 12:35 pm
Hmmmm… what was airman about? I haven’t read it in like a year sooo….
have you never ever read peter pan?
July 10th, 2009 at 1:49 pm
Err… I read about a quarter of the books you read. I’ve read Artemis Fowl book 1-6, Avalon book 1-9, The Children of the Lamp, the Secret Order of the Gumm street girls, The Cronus Chronicles books 1 and 2, every soul a star, Jeremy Fink and the meaning of life, Inkheart, Inkspell, Half Moon Investigation, The garden of eve, 11 Birthdays, Pandora, Airman, The Thief Lord, Wings, what the dickens, fly by night, Spetimus Heap series books 1-4, 39 clues books 1-4, Savy, Island of the blue dolphins, The Hitchhikers Guide the the Galaxy, The restaurant at the end of the universe(in the middle), Theodosia Thockmorton book 1-2, The Mysterious Mr. Spines, Criss Cross, A mango shaped space, and a lot of other books I can’t remember off the top of my head. And that’s what I’ve read in the last six months. I don’t know why I gave you this list, I just felt like it.
July 13th, 2009 at 11:17 pm
Wait there is another book of the children of the lamp?
July 13th, 2009 at 11:24 pm
hmmm I’ve read nearly all of those. You know how some teachers say reading improves your spelling? its crap lol all thou it sure improves you grammar
July 14th, 2009 at 5:32 am
I’ve read the Children of the lamp book one and that’s all. I didn’t like it all that much so just read book one then stopped. Oh and now I can add Harry Potter book 1 to that list!
July 14th, 2009 at 11:39 am
nah!!!!!!!!!!!
ov course i’v read peter pan!!!!!!!!
July 14th, 2009 at 7:54 pm
than whyd u say u only read AIRMAN????
oh and i finished all Harry potter 2
August 3rd, 2009 at 4:00 am
PFFFT!!!!! PWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
(great, now the screen’s covered in Fanta…. my cousin’ll be TICKED)
that was awesome!!! Blacmail truely is bribery’s favorite cousin.