Halloween challenge: Wings

Summary: My entry for the Halloween challenge.

3 votes, average: 5.00 out of 53 votes, average: 5.00 out of 53 votes, average: 5.00 out of 53 votes, average: 5.00 out of 53 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5 (3 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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My entry for the Halloween challenge. Please review.
Enjoy!

Holly walked outside, feeling the fresh wind blow to her face.
Behind her she heard the party. Halloween was one of the days elves could walk over street, but just to be sure the LEP held their annual party in the middle of nowhere, in a meadow near the coast.
Walking towards the cliffs Holly looked around her. The dark grassland was lightened by cheerful pumpkins, placed around the tiny cottage.
She sighed, and sat down at the top of the cliff, hearing the waves below her.

Artemis was dead.

It was a shocking thought. He died almost half a year ago, by the hands of Opal. After that Holly had been so busy, didn’t have time to think about it.
But now, now that the case had finally ended, the barely healed wound suddenly became fresh and open, and Holly could now feel the full pain of her loss.
She felt something warm on her face, and realized that she was crying.

A crying elf on the top of a cliff, clothed in a white angel dress, two white-feathered wings hanging on her back.

Fake wings, wings that couldn’t fly.

Holly sat a while in silence like that, sunken in thoughts, tears on her cheeks. He died, and now?
It had been half a year, and everyone expected her to just move on. He was a mudboy, a smart one, but still a mudboy.

Useless wings, wings that didn’t want to fly.

But Artemis meant more to her than that. He wasn’t just a mudboy, he was her friend.
Holly stood up, and looked down. The black, wild water spattered against the rocks below her.
The wings circled down, flattered a moment up because of the wind, and then went back down to crash at the rocks.

Broken wings, wings that would never fly again.

Holly looked down, down at the wings.
She got a few ribbons out of her hair, and let them flutter away with the wind too. Then she turned around, and walked back.
One of the pumpkins lay upside down, so its mouth curved down. With the tip of her shoe Holly turned him back, and the pumpkin smiled again. Holly smiled back, and went inside.
She wouldn’t just forget him, but she wouldn’t stay sad forever either.

He would want her to use her wings.

Comments on This Post

4 responses to “Halloween challenge: Wings.” Join in!

  1. Simply fabulous. As it’s no con crit, I can’t give any. It’s touching. That’s all I can say. This might include con crit next month.

  2. in love with Arty 6302 October 31st, 2011 at 3:30 pm 2

    Wonderfully superb! Nothing was OOC, all spot on. I didn’t see any grammar mistakes except maybe instead of saying “she got a few ribbons out of her hair” you could change got to took.

    I loved the way you talked about how the wings were useless and didn’t want to fly, but Artemis would have wanted her to. 5/s

  3. I saw a mistake, to me this is really good. I have nothing to say, god job, you did great!

  4. Short but sweet.I liked the message.

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