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SaraParadizo

"Had I known that I would be writing this, the message being delivered by a baby Cupid in a clown wig, I probably would not have done anything. Why? Follow me, dear friends, on a journey contemplating what may be the grandest hypothetical situation in the history of Fangathering, quite a prestigious honor, I assure you." She paused thoughtfully, gazing at the fire with a look of unseeing sight. "So, I come home from school one day. My dear grandmother lets me in, and I proceed to eat some toast. Then I do homework, but I leave the toaster unplugged. Then the house burns down, my family loses me in Wal -Mart, and I find myself on the side of a dirty street in 'Frisco, and I run into the woods and live with the wolves, learning their ways and becoming part of the pack. I hunt like them, sleep like them, and deciphered the complex language of their howls. I live on raw crickets and acorns, because they are the only things I can catch. Then, the avalanche comes, sweeping away my canine brothers and I. We are seperated, and with the help of a mountain lion, three buses, a pick-up truck, a stolen New york cab, two sherpas, a mountain goat, a submarine ride (thank you to Dan the bus guy for hooking me up with tickets), and a mutant canary with a giant head, I return to civilization. I'm crouching behind a dirty dumpster in New York. I'm eating some McNuggets I begged off that sparkly unicorn in that one princess movie, the one they rode off into the sunset on before the giant man-eating gopher decapitated them. I reach for ketchup, only to find that my dog, Skippy, has already put on a play and used it as fake blood. At first I'm irritated, but it fades as I remember he's all I have. My family disappeared to a country three oceans and a dragon away, and Skippy is the only one I can trust. We depend on each other in this cruel, cold world, and he brings the only hapiness in my useless life. The next day, I hear a screech and Skippy's barking stopped abruptly. I rush out from behind the dumpster, but it's too late. Skippy is gone. I trudge sadly down the trail, not knowing why anymore. Then, I see him: the gopher. He doesn't notice me, as I'm downwind of him. I hold back a scream and run as fast and silently as I can, but then my pack comes undone and I trip over my Hello Kitty glitter lip gloss. The bus trundles down the street at the speed of a shooting peanut, rolling right over me. I'm dead, and you want me to review? How cruel and unusual is that? I wasn't a bad person, that much. I deserve better. I'm reporting you to the elf in charge of Complaints Against Stupid People. Farewell, or unwell, you ungrateful miscreants." HEY. HEY YOU. GO TO MIMI'S BLOG: http://breakitlater.blogspot.com/

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