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More Than A Memory

Summary:      (Note): Obviously this is an A/H. It is from Artemis’ point of view and (duh) the “she” is Holly.  […]

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     (Note): Obviously this is an A/H. It is from Artemis’ point of view and (duh) the “she” is Holly.  I placed this to be a few years after The Time Paradox, but the other books never happened. I’m not sure why I wrote it like that, it just happened, okay? The song I used is More Than a Memory by Garth Brooks.

 

-People say she’s only in my head,

 It’s gonna take time but I forget,

 

     It had been nearly a year. He stared at the ring lying in his palm. A ring that had been rejected. A wasted ring. Everyone said it was all in his head, the chemistry that has sparked between them, literally sparking at Rathdown Park.

     They say time heals all wounds, that, eventually, she would be a fond, but distant, memory and he would move on.

 

-They say I need to get on with my life,

 But they don’t realize,

 

     He probably should move on, but he couldn’t. Everyone tried to help him, his mother by trying to introduce him to other people, his father and butler by talking to him about how complicated women always were, all trying to get through.

     None of them understood. None of them realized that he lost more than the one he loved. He lost the best, truest friend that anyone could hope to ask for. He had destroyed everything he had with her and now there was no going back, no way to fix it.

     And he couldn’t let go.

 

-That when you’re,

 Dialin’ six numbers just to hang up the phone,

 Drivin’ ‘cross town just to see if she’s home

 

     He had tried to call her several times, but only dialed half the number before her last words echoed through his mind.

     She looked at the ring in his hand, the hope in his eyes now level with hers because he was on one knee.

     “Artemis, I-I can’t.”

     His face fell a thousand miles and she took a step back.

     “Why?” he whispered, his mismatched eyes shimmering.

     “It wasn’t meant to be.” She answered softly.

     He watched her fly away, disappearing into the inky horizon.

     He hadn’t seen or spoken to her since. He would always hang up.

 

-Wakin’ a friend in the dead of the night,

 Just to hear ‘em say it’s gonna be alright

 

     He had gotten very little sleep since then. The depression was like a wild beast that had dug its claws in and would never let go.

     More than once he had woken Juliet in the middle of the night. She was so much easier to talk to. In the past he was never very open with his feelings, but now, they felt like a ticking time bomb. Juliet understood better than the others and would never share his words.

     But what he wanted to hear more than anything was…

     “It’ll be alright.”

 

-When you find yourself tryin’ not to fall asleep,

 ‘Cause you know she’ll be there in your dreams,

 That’s when she’s, more than a memory

 

     He spent most nights pacing his room so he would not fall asleep. All it would bring was more torment. She was always there, dreams or nightmares alike.

    Dreams of their adventures, dreams of their friendship. Dreams of her saying yes.

     Nightmares forced him to relive the rejection over and over. They came far more often than the dreams. Then again the dreams could be just as bad. They reminded him of what once was.

     She would never fade to a distant memory. She would always be more.

 

-Took a match to everything she ever wrote,

 Watched her words go up in smoke

 

     Now holding the printouts of the long since deleted e-mails, he flicked a lighter under the stacks’ corner. Tears dripped to the floor as the tongues of flame licked at the pages, quickly devouring them.

     He watched her words burn away, turning to smoke that floated out the window, leaving behind a faint scent.  

     All that remained were ashes. 

 

-Tore all her pictures off the wall,

 Ain’t helpin’ me at all

 

     The scent of smoke still lingering in the air, he began ripping the pictures off the wall, leaving ragged holes in the plaster where the nails had been. All they did was torment him more, reminding him of the friendship they once held. A sharp reminder of what he could never have. Soon, there was a pile of broken glass, cracked frames and torn photographs.

     It still didn’t help.

 

-‘Cause when you’re

 Talkin’ out loud and nobody’s there,

 You look like hell and you just don’t care

 

     His appearance used to be immaculate, never a hair out of place, never a wrinkle in his Armani suit.

     As time progressed, he cared less and less about his appearance. He never left the house anymore, so why bother? His disheveled state sent his family into a pit of worry and concern that grew deeper and deeper each day.

     He simply didn’t care anymore.

 

-Drinkin’ more than you ever drank,

 Sinkin’ down lower than you ever sank

 

     He had never really been one to drink. The concept never had particularly appealed to him, but now it was his desperate escape. It wasn’t something that he did often, but, sometimes, the pain became too much and he broke.

     He no longer felt as though he had reached rock bottom. He was sinking lower than ever. Rock bottom was the too high goal that he couldn’t reach.

     Lower he sank.

 

-When you find yourself fallin’ down upon your knees,

 Prayin’ to God, beggin’ Him please,

That’s when she’s, more than a memory.

She’s more,

She’s mo-ore.

 

     He paced back and forth, staring at the pile of broken frames. He paced and paced. Still pacing, tears began to trace down his ghostly pale face.

     Finally, he stumbled and fell. He looked up at the ceiling, shouting to a God he didn’t even believe was there. Screaming why, begging Him to change it. Change everything.

     No, he would never forget.

 

-‘Cause when you’re,

 Dialin’ her number just to hang up the phone,

 Drivin’ ‘cross town just to see if she’s home,

 Wakin’ a friend in the dead of the night,

 Just to hear ‘em say it’s gonna be alright

 

     He looked at the ring on his middle finger, twisting it around and around. He dialed her number, finger hovering above the green button. He sighed and pressed the red one.

     He nearly woke Juliet, but chose not to bother.

     Her words meant nothing now.

 

-When you find yourself fallin’ down upon your knees,

 Prayin’ to God, beggin’ Him please,

That’s when she’s, more than a memory.

 

 

     He gripped his knees beside the pile of broken memories, tears staining the front of his shirt. He clutched his legs closer to his body, crushing them to his chest with all the strength he could muster, as though to hold himself together, but he was shattered. He had been shattered for a year.

     Moonlight glinted off the broken glass. Too weak to fight it anymore he lurched forward and grabbed a large shard, his grip putting deep gashes across his palm and blood dripped to the floor.

     It began quickly pooling, but not from his hand.

     From the gash in his wrist.

 

-People say she’s only in my head,

 It’s gonna take time but I forget…

 

     He gripped the ring that carried so much sorrow tightly. He didn’t want blood on the biggest catastrophe of his life.

     He smiled as he watched it drip, not feeling any pain.

     Not physical pain anyway.

     Maybe now I can forget…

 

 

     A/N: I realize that this is super depressing, but most of my songfics will probably end up that way, as a majority of the music I listen to is depressing and sad, or something that will make a very poor songfic, like Slipknot or My Chemical Romance or… you get the idea.

     Actually, now that I think about it, most of what I write is action & romance or depressing I-wanna-cry. I read and write sad poetry, listen to sad music and prefer sad books, yet I am not a sad or depressed person. However, I do hate people. (this being actual, physical people, not you awesome virtual people)      

Comments on This Post

3 responses to “More Than A Memory.” Join in!

  1. its been a while since i read a sad songfic. anyway silver YOU ALREADY KNOW I DO NOT LIKE ROMANCE! yeah dont care about me, i really admire your writing. this fic made me feel a little sad, but it was cool. keep it up silver, i would love to read more good stuff by you! 😀

  2. SilverGoddess March 15th, 2013 at 4:43 pm 2

    Well, this, along with a few others, randomly added themselves to the Recently Updated bar.

    Does anyone else see the irony that you can add three hundred words to a story and it doesn’t appear under Recently Updated, but stories that I haven’t touched in months are adding themselves? Weird…

  3. shaadiaHatesExamsUntilResultsCOME March 16th, 2013 at 4:52 am 3

    yaaaay updaaateee!! three cheers for silver!!!

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