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Death Remenise

Summary: A character from my NaNoWriMo novel thinks about death, very dark.

  • Story Complete? Not yet.
  • Author:
  • Category: Angst
  • Word Count: 76
2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 52 votes, average: 5.00 out of 52 votes, average: 5.00 out of 52 votes, average: 5.00 out of 52 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5 (2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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Reading Mode

He was preparing to strike when I closed my eyes. I still had to hear the scream, the blood-chilling sound as someone knows they are gonna die, and then when you open your eyes and see the blood pool and you feel so god-damn alone. It’s horrible when you realize that someone you know is dead. That’s what dying is.

Being alone.

Being cold.

Comments on This Post

9 responses to “Death Remenise.” Join in!

  1. Are you going to continue this? Because it was awfully short. 😐

    Anyway, that was pretty good. The second sentence confused me a bit. There was something about it that just didn’t feel right… maybe you should go over it a little more. Also, as I said, I hope you’ll continue, because it needs to somehow pertain to Artemis Fowl.

    On that note, I like how you did this so far. Who’s point of view is this from? I’ll be keeping my eyes out for a possible update. 🙂

    -Star* (First Comment Egyptian Disco Breakdance! :mrgreen:)

  2. Short. Very angst! Nicely worded. Nicely done. I suggest not using the word “gonna” but that’s just me.

  3. Nice. I think Star’s comment may have been longer, but still. Good.

  4. Maybe for the last line it could be ‘BECAUSE that’s what dying is.’ I dunno, it’s too short to comment much. But very good anyway. 🙂 UPDATE OR FEAR MY WRATH!!!!

  5. Captain Mira Kelp November 8th, 2010 at 2:57 am 5

    Ummm, okay. Just to explain, it’s spoiler’s of my NaNo novel XD.
    NOW I’m saying that it’s about Raine Vinyaya…. i’m weird 😀

  6. Yeah you are. 😉

    I can’t beleive I didn’t read this before now! It’s very good! Angsty of course. The words “blood”, “scream”, and “strike” really leave a person wanting more and that is good.

    But you gotta update soon, Mira! Give us the WHOLE STORY instead of just the spoiler… because all in all, I want to read some more. 🙂

  7. update or feel the wrath of butler!!! but anyway, 5 starz

  8. I agree with WE, to give this the right dramatic feel you can’t use slang. Going to die. Not gonna die.

  9. Update, Mira! XD You can’t type something up that’s as good as this and not update for five months!!! 😛 You just don’t do that to your faithful readers. x) Write more, please! What’s the problem with Vinyaya? Please, share. 😉

    ~CC

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