Warning: This FanFic is rated T for Teen.
Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl (as much as I wish I do…)

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“Hello there, Angels.”

A thin platinum blond rolled her pale azure eyes before giving her friend an incredulous look. Her heavily lined eyes flickered with slight annoyance as she seated herself on a scarlet sofa. Pale skin stood out in sharp contrast with the crimson suede.

“This isn’t Charlie’s Angels, okay?”

A deep brass voice emitted from ebony speakers on the small table.

“Seems devilishly alike to me.”

A different girl with a velvety voice spoke up. She shared an eye roll with the blond before sighing deeply.

“Um, okay. First off, you’re name’s not Charlie, its Ricky. And second off, there’s two of us, not three.”

“Well then, Devils, I have an assignment for you.”

“Wow, retard much.” Replied the blond skeptically as she reached for the piña colada on the stand beside the sofa. Sometimes she loved working for Ricky – he made sure they were always living in the finest luxury. She wondered how somebody so rich would still need two amateurs like her and Ciara to do his dirty work. Couldn’t he have hired a ninja or something? Oh well, she loved her job and probably would rather end life than get fired. That may explain her perfect record. Ciara, however, had slipped up a few times, but what else was expected from a prep like her? Alyssa toyed with her silver nose ring as Ricky answered.

“This is a different assignment as you’re used to. What you must understand first is that we will be partnering with the Triads.”

“Partnering? Oh wait, isn’t that the Japanese mafia?” asked Ciara, the brunette. She patted down her sepia hair and glanced at Alyssa for the umpteenth time. Ricky never showed his face, and yet he had proven himself as perfectly…obeyable. It seemed to her that he had tried everything possible to make this as Charlie’s Angels as he could. He had even interviewed some Asian chick for the job, though she wasn’t nearly as kick-ass as Lucy Liu. She quit a few weeks later. Psh, not hardcore enough.

“No, the Chinese mafia. I have already negotiated, and we have come to a compromise. I will brief you along the way, so do not forget your earpieces.”

“You speak Chinese? So what are we doing?” questioned Alyssa, finishing the last of her piña colada. She seemed slightly more enthusiastic now – time for another mission. “Don’t tell me we’ve gotta kill some billionaire again. The press was hounding after us for months.”

“Slightly, but with a horrid accent. And no, it’s a kidnap. Have either of you two heard of the Fowls?”

“Hey, where’d you get that piña colada? Oh. Right, um, no, it’s not like we read World News or whatever.” Scoffed Ciara as she leaned over to steal Alyssa’s beverage. She stopped abruptly. “Wait, isn’t fowl like, a chicken? We’re kidnapping a chicken?”

“No, Fowl’s a last name. And our target. His name is Artemis Fowl the Second, known for his criminal enterprises. He’s never been caught though, as he is a mastermind. The Triads are interested in something he is said to acquire. We’re interested in the Fei Fei diamond we know he has acquired. I’ve sent you each a picture of him to your cell phones. He’s about 17 years old right now.”

“Hey, he’s hot.” Alyssa giggled as Ciara shot her an odd look. “What? He looks like a vampire. Imagine how hot he would look if he were scene. Can I seduce him, please please please?”

Ricky chuckled. “Maybe later. Might I remind you he’s never had a girlfriend before?”

Alyssa laughed out loud, stopping when the remains of her drink spilled all over her black skinny jeans. “Oh shit. But yeah, he looks easy.” Alyssa winked at Ciara. “Both ways.”

“He would be, if he didn’t have a bodyguard. Fowl never leaves anywhere without a certain Domovoi Butler. Butler is the second most skilled martial artist in the world, and is said to have taken more than a bullet on many occasions for Fowl’s sake. He’s the one you’ll have trouble with.”

“Dude, how do you know all this stuff about people? Do you have like, secret stalkers too?” asked Ciara sarcastically while opening the mini fridge. She grabbed a Monster – she would need all the energy she needed to not fall asleep. Ricky seemed bent on making them two either nocturnal or sleep-deprived or something. It was already three, AM!

“I have my sources. Anyways, here is what you need to know. Alyssa, you’re going under the name Johanna Easton, and you’re a college sophomore at Stanford University. We have tickets booked for you already to Shanghai, China, where the Triads will pick you up in a black limousine to escort you to your hotel.”

“Ew, Johanna? Do I look like a Johanna?” retorted Alyssa dubiously. He question was ignored.

“And me?” asked Ciara, who was already chugging down her second Monster. Alyssa nearly grinned – for someone as girly as Ciara she was pretty strange. “Don’t tell me I’m missing on action in this one.”

“You, Ciara, are going to Ireland under the name Tinisha Rhodes. You’re a college dropout from UCSD. You can put on that naïve, ignorant act much better than Alyssa, which is exactly what you’re going to do. You’re job is to make sure Butler and Artemis will trust you by the time you get off the plane.”

“What? Oh come on, you’re telling me I still look innocent?” asked Ciara. “Damn it. And what am I supposed to do on the plane?”

“Do what you want. Once we get more information on Artemis and his lodgings, I will call both of you. This mission starts tomorrow morning at eight. Get a nice sleep, girls. Goodnight.”

The two girls stared at each other with sleepy eyes. Then at the clock. It was 3:15 AM.

“Shit.”

Some other stories by Dreamlight:

• Love Like Winter
• Rainbow
• The Narcisuss Flower

Skip to chapter: 1, 2, 3,