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The Fowl Seige

Summary: Chapter one: The Beginning of the Siege “There was only twenty of us. But there were more of them, a […]

Chapters: 1 2

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Chapter one: The Beginning of the Siege

“There was only twenty of us. But there were more of them, a whole lot more. If it wasn’t because of one of my stupid actions we could have won but no, I had done what I had done and there is nothing to change about that anymore. So now there are only around four or five left. But you still need to hear the story don’t you?” I asked them.

“Yes, you do,” they said together still in disbelief.

“Oh well then let’s just say it was a bit easy at first.” I started out looking at them keeping their eye open for once.

10 years ago…

“Guys really can we please go ahead and do it without the fans?” I asked getting bored of waiting outside the gates to Fowl Manor.

“No, we need them because there are only eight of us and way more of them.” Mira said, looking at me.

“Yeah Dommy, get your thoughts in order.” Fowlie said, patting my head.

Jo looked at me real quick with a smile on her face, saying they would probably be here soon.

“Come on Dom, cheer up a little.” CC said, putting a hand on my shoulder.

“Fine,” I muttered, sitting down on the ground, extremely bored.

“We’re here!” Torry yelled walking down the road loud enough for the sisters to hear.

“Hey! Keep it down!” Sliver hissed, looking behind her over at the manor.

“Sorry, sorry,” Torry whispered as she got up and strode over to them, the others trailing behind her.

“So, this is our army?” I said standing up, “Wow, this is just pathetic a bunch of kids and an adult.”

“Dommy, stop being rude!” Mira hissed. I muttered some really rude comments under my breath but kept quiet.

“So when are we going to start?” said Beau, a five-year-old that was really annoying.

“When we want to start,” CC answered, standing beside me.

Beau’s jaw dropped when he looked at us. “Are you two twins?” he asked us when he could speak finally.

“Yes we are.” we said with a satisfied grin on our faces.

Mira and Jo laughed when they saw the look on our faces. Mira picked up her sword, Letta, “Alright guys. Dom, you’re in command!”

 

* Special thanks to Mira for co-writing this chapter.

Chapters: 1 2

Comments on This Post

6 responses to “The Fowl Seige.” Join in!

  1. WOW I really Liked that! 🙂 I could’nt find any mistakes, even though my 21 year old sister was poking my in the head. I laughed at this part:“So, this is our army?” I said standing up, “Wow, this is just pathetic a bunch of kids and an adult.”

    *Is so happy get’s pink gun that shoots TACOS!*

    Don’t shoot me!*hides under table* If you do then… I’ll… I don’t know!

  2. Great job. It’s lacking in suspense, and it’s kind of dull but the concept and plot idea are fresh enough for me to want to continue to read the updates. I look forward to an update.

  3. That was Awesome! thank you for putting me in it! I can’t wait for the next chapter!!!

    M. Fowl says…

    Your welcome Torry!*hugs* Just be a bit more careful I have a few tricks up my sleeve for you! *grins evilly*

  4. FowlsGirl123 July 6th, 2011 at 2:53 am 4

    cool. I didn’t really see any mistakes, but it was kind of boring. It’s hard to understand. I feel like you have the idea in your head, and write assuming that people know everything in your head. Which we don’t.
    So, just a pointer, please be more descriptive. And sorry if this sounds like flame, its not supposed to be. I just want to make your stories easier for people to read.
    update!

    M. Fowl says…

    Dude I am trying my best I had a friend over last night I have a lot of things on my mind and I haven’t updated this is like… A few weeks so just lay off a bit please.

  5. Hermione Fowl July 7th, 2011 at 6:16 am 5

    That was really good, so far. Needs more description though. E.G-Said can be changed to agreed, encouraged, cheered, shouted etc.
    Also, the bit at the start was kinda confusing. Who was he talking to??
    I think that’s it. So. . .
    UPDATE OR FEAR MY WRATH!!!!!

  6. That was GREAT! I loved it! 5 lollipops! Can I be in it? I look foward to updates!
    UPDATE OR FEEL THE WRATH OF MY KILLER KITTENS!!!

    ~Cimerene

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