Artemis Fowl and the Council of Liars

Summary: Part One: We are not normal girls. We are not normal anythings. -Falcon Down a road that is almost never […]

Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5

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Part One:

We are not normal girls. We are not normal anythings.

-Falcon

Down a road that is almost never used, up on a mountain somewhere in the Rockies, is a log cabin. Inside that log cabin is a hall with a row of doors on one side, all of which lead to bedrooms. Then there in a large room down the hall, with a kitchen, dining room and living room all in one. One of the walls had a lot of computer mounted on the many shelves and another had a flat screen TV mounted on in. In front of the TV there was a couch, with four girls sitting on it. They were yelling:

“DIE, Peach, DIE!!”

“Aw, Star now I’m in last!”

“CRASH HER, darn, CC…!”

As you may have guessed, it was gaming night for the little council of wimpy girls, and they were playing an intense game of Mario Kart Wii. Hopefully this explains the yelling, which for the reader’s sake I will leave out until the end of the race.

“Short, I think that this is the first race you’ve beat me in,” said CrazyChick.

Star glanced up at the scores, grumbling. “Of course I had to come in fourth. Do you realize how hard it is to be in fourth?!”

And of course, Short was doing cheesy impressions of Artemis that no one was watching.

“OOOOH, I’m in fifth place! Yay! That means I’m LUCKY!!! Ohhhh!” And she grabbed the whipped cream off the table from dessert (pie).

Now, this council of “wimpy girls” was really the next generation of a complex organization of people founded by some loony off the street after an imaginary dragon attack. They were meant to save the world from ‘supernatural monstrosities’. I suppose you could say they succeeded, as the entire history of this nameless group was empty. No incidents.

Unless you counted whipped cream.Β Short took the can and sprayed it on a silent Falcon; (she came in last) who literally jumped out of her seat.

“Short, you little…” Falcon grabbed the whipped cream off the top of her head and threw it at Short, who ducked. The whipped cream ball hit Star squarely in the back of her head. “Hey! What the…”

The result was a full out whipped cream fight. Short was having the time of her life, running around and spraying people. Star was hoping for serious revenge, CC was carefully avoiding the whipped cream balls, and Falcon was cowering under the table.Β They ran around the living room screaming their heads off (this wasn’t easy because the living room was also the dining room and kitchen).

After about five minutes, CC stopped to wipe the whipped cream off her face. “We’re going to smell like rotten milk after this.”

Star grinned evilly.”Do I look like I care?!”

“Mllph!” agreed Short. Neither seemed to care much. Falcon glared at Short, who was attempting to stuff a whole container of Cool Whip into her mouth. She glared back, and threw a handful of the stuff at Falcon. The whole fight would have started over, if they hadn’t heard the blip.

It was a sound they had long sense stopped listening for. But there it was. Again. And again. They crowded around the computer, and panicked. Blips meant emergencies.Β 

Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5

Comments on This Post

41 responses to “Artemis Fowl and the Council of Liars.” Join in!

  1. Looks like this will be cool but whats going on with the orginazation? What are thay soposed to be defending aganst?
    Sorry for misspelings.

    *does first coment dance* πŸ™‚

  2. All in good time, my friend. All in good time.;)

  3. Update please. πŸ™‚
    I love the way you don’t reveal the plot right at first. I am hooked.

  4. Cool can I come in? Read your message. Black hair(halfway down back), dark brown eyes, tan, tall, skinny, sarcastic, crazy, bad memory, enjoys cats and cookies. Name- Ckat

  5. This is impressive, Falcon. πŸ˜€ Very impressive. πŸ˜‰ Well written with beautiful grammar. πŸ˜€ Thanks for putting me in. πŸ™‚ I really appreciate it. :]

    ~CC

  6. YYYAAAYYY!!!!! I GETS TO THROW WHIPPED-CREAM!!!!! WHOOOOOOOO!!! AND NO, I haven’t had a potato.

  7. This is the next “Valley of Fools” story. Everyone rate this a five and get it to the top rated! Wonderful story, flawless grammar and exceptional spelling. I loved the update, but I need another one. I also love the machine idea, very original and creative. Update now or you may not live to see the next hour Fal. This story is addicting. Wow!

  8. You left me HANGING! 😐 Not cool buddeh. Finish the update now. Or else. And let me quote Hermione on this one:

    “UPDATE OR FEAR MY WRATH!!!”

    And mine. Now hurry! Shizzz, this story is addicting.

  9. Fal, you know my powers and I know where you live… SO UPDATE! And I don’t talk like that!

  10. GEEZ, I did! I will again, as soon as i can… It’s what I do in my spare time.

  11. Wow. UUPPPPPPPPPDDDAAATTTTTTTTEEEEEEEE! Put me in it or I will send all my minions after you!(Not really. I don’t have any minions, unless you count my cat.) Love the story by the way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  12. My mions are hot pink bunnys. Just kidding, I don’t have any. But i like to use ’em as empty threats.

  13. Love it! Update or I will do… something I don’t know what.
    But still, update! forum.gatorsports.com/images/smilies/angry5.gi

  14. You better stop being lazy when you come back. I am so not happy with you! How much do I have to beg to get you to update five or six chapters! Huh!!!??? Huh???!!! How many Fal…:(

  15. Fine, I shall. But I’m on a break. When I come back…

  16. FoalyIsAGenues September 6th, 2010 at 3:00 am 16

    put me in
    i am a centaur
    gender :boy
    always on computer
    vary sarcastic
    black hair glasses

  17. Why do you keep saying you’re a bad writer, modesty or so people will excitedly read your stories to see just how “bad” they are. Really, Falcon, I’ve seen tons of suckish-er stories. Stop saying you’re horrible, because you’re NOT. Update before I EXPLODE. If I can be in it, please add me. I have straight black hair halfway down my back, dark brown eyes(you can’t see it unless you’re about 6 inches from my face and stare really hard, otherwise they look black), tan skin, bad memory, dark blue glasses, enjoys cats and cookies, and I hate cheese. And most other dairy products. EXCEPT ICE CREAM. I am also random and 12 years old. Female. Will eat off floor depending on cleanliness of floor and tastiness of food. Will sit/climb just about anything. Stares off into space and has a lot of potentially useless facts.

  18. Yer in. I know, your right, people probably DO read my stories just to see how bad they are. But really, I’m just being modest- i still think they stink, though. I wrote a quiz to identify people with AlantisC, and I failed it XD

    Anyways, no more people for this one. It’s closed.

  19. HAHA! I’M IN IT!!! GRACIAS!!! XIEXIE!!! THANK YOU!! Er… that’s all the ways I know to say thanks… not really a lot. Anyway, it’s a short update, but I understand you just got on, so whatever. Good you can update at all, you know, cuz of school and everything.

  20. update or die( not really you wont die because of me)

  21. I has updated.

  22. Short, but it’s something. A quote? How bout-

    Underrating is overrated.
    -Ckat

    Kay, not very good, I just made it up. I don’t really have any good quotes that I say myself…

  23. Oh, I LIKE that. Anyone else? I want a quote by as many of the people I’m using as I can.

  24. XD Why is that when I read the first few paragraphs, I immediately saw a comedy story? Other than that, after the turns it’s taking, maybe it won’t entirely be funny anymore, which kind of dragged me down a bit. T_T
    BESIDES THAT, with this being one of the first stories I’ve read on this site, I have to say it exceeded my expectations in a really good way. Though, to give you any criticisms at the moment…..you might want to have a look at chapter 2. A few things repeated itself one too many times….

  25. GAH! I have fixed chapter 2 like, ten times! Ah well.

  26. Wow. πŸ™‚ Awesome.

    First of all, dittoing FowlStar, I love it how you didn’t reveal the plot right away and kept me wondering what was going to happen. Also, thanks for putting me in this! I loved the whip cream battle. *broad grin* Epic.

    -Star

    P.S. Something’s wrong with Chapter 2… πŸ™ It keeps repeating itself.

  27. There, I fixed chapter 2. Is it still… Ah. Yes. It is. I give up.

  28. You’ve updated!!!! But it’s short. But you updated! Miehhehehhh!!

  29. UpDaTe!!!!!!!!!!!!

  30. Oooh, one more person rate it 5* and it will be in the TTs!!!! Please? Somebody? Can’t rate it myself…

  31. UPDATE PWEESE!!!!!!!

  32. WOOT YOU UPDATED… and it’s short. Ah well, nice job. I dunno if I mentioned this before, but it’s ninety, despite the pronounciation.

    Yurp… I just really want an update. Sorry for my tineh comment.

  33. Great fic! 5 stars!
    UPDATE OR FEEL THE WRATH OF MY KILLER KITTEN!!!

  34. Alright… it’s been updated.

  35. UPDATE OR FACE MY FOWL FARTS!

  36. oooh cabn I be in it?I want to be called alpha. and I have a quote for ya:
    Im carzy reulary but give me lightning powers and IM cole mcgrath on weed.

  37. …Sorry, i’ts too late to join, although I might use your quotes… πŸ™

  38. Falcon? This is fantastic. Update, or the Hounds will get ya. (See Taurus) Sorry, I just felt the need to post an ‘update or fear my wrath’ type message.

    I didn’t see and mistakes, and you’ve got a great fic going. Good job!

  39. I just came back from the dead, and what greets me? Your epic story. Woman, you need to update this if you value our band locker without whipped cream smeared on the walls! Kidding- mostly |D Ahem. So, update? It’s great(as always), except for a few typos. Keep up the work if you enjoy life!~

    Woman, you need

  40. chocolatetruffles1 March 24th, 2012 at 3:56 am 40

    Very funny, and please update soon.

  41. Re-reading these comments…. Gah how I miss everybody *flails everywhere* But like seriously, this used to be a classic… *cries* Fowwie called it the next Valley of Fools story aufuyfjhjvhhvj

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